A Brother's Cry
by GrumpyMagrat
Summary: A moment of anger. A price paid. Will this family survive? COMPLETE
1. A Brother Is Hurt

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter One – A Brother Is Hurt 

I have to get to him. I was at the Lagoon when I got the call that he was in the sickroom. I knew instantly that I was responsible. We had a huge fight and I had literally run from the villa. I'm not sure what happened to my brother but I knew I had hurt him.

I am back at the house. I must have broken all the speed records getting from the lagoon to here. My lungs are screaming for air. My legs and back are strenuously protesting the violent treatment of the run. None of that matters. All that matters is getting to my brother. The brother that I had hurt. I can't believe this happened. All he wanted to do was help me and I took all my anger at myself out on him. God, I am such a shithead. I don't deserve a brother like him. I know for sure that he doesn't deserve a rotten brother like me.

The house seems deserted. I know that they are all downstairs waiting for news. I have run all this way to be with him, but now I am afraid to find out how badly he is hurt. I am afraid of his reaction to me. I am afraid that I will hurt him more. Not physically, I mean. I am afraid that my presence will upset him. After what I have done, I wouldn't blame him if he never wants to see me again. I have been hurting him for the last three weeks. He wanted me to talk about my feelings, but I kept pushing him away. I couldn't face my own feelings. So I certainly didn't want to share them. The more he tried to help, the more I pushed him away. Maybe, deep down, I wanted someone else to hurt as badly as I was hurting.

I've reached the door to the sickroom. I feel sick myself. I stand at the door. I can hear muffled voices inside. I know my dad and other brothers are in there. My thoughts are spinning out of control. Hell, my whole life is spinning out of control. My family will be furious when they find out what really happened. I don't know if I can face them.

Man, it's hot in here. It shouldn't be hot. The interior of the house is climate-controlled. Then I realize that it is my fear that is making me sweat not the temperature. I can't seem to make my hands stop shaking. I reach for the door sensor, but I stop. I want to run away: run away from the island, run away from International Rescue, run away from my family, and especially run away from the brother that I put in the sickroom.

I turned to leave. I just can't go in there. Then I hear him. I hear him calling my name. I know that I have to go in there. Even if he hates me forever, I have to be there for him right now.

I open the door and walk in. Before I knew what was happening, my other two brothers grabbed my arms and pushed me back out the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I can't believe you would show your face after what you did."

"You left him lying on the floor unconscious and bleeding."

"Why don't you leave and not come back?"

"Are you back to finish the job?"

"You are an irresponsible bastard."

My brothers had pinned me against the wall in the hallway. I knew that they would be angry but this pure hatred that I see in their eyes shocks me to the core. I hear him call my name again. I have to get to him.

"Please, I have to see him. It was an accident. I swear. I have to tell him I'm sorry."

"There is no way that we are going to let you anywhere near him. Do you hear me?" growled my brother.

I hear him call my name again. I have to get in there. I have to.

"Please, he is calling me. I have to get in there." I plead.

"No way."

I am openly sobbing now. All I can think about is getting to his bedside. I need to get away from my brothers. My only concern is my one brother who is lying in that bed, in pain and calling my name.

"Boys."

All it took was one word from my father and the hands holding me let go. Without looking at either of my brothers, I run into the sickroom. I am shocked at what I saw. His wrist is in a splint. His arm is in a sling. The worst are the bandages wrapped around his head.

I sit in one of the chairs next to the bed. I take my brother's hand. It lies limp in my hand. I try to brush the tears from my eyes, but new tears just take their place.

I look at my dad. "How bad is he?" I drop my head. I just couldn't look him in the eyes.

I hear a snort behind me. "Like you care."

My dad shoots a look over my shoulder to silence my brother. "Well, he has a broken wrist, a dislocated shoulder, a two inch gash on the back of the head, and a mild concussion." After a brief pause, he continued. "He has been in and out of consciousness. He told us you did this to him. I was hoping that when he has a clearer head, he would say that he was mistaken when he said that. But he won't will he, son. You did this to him, didn't you?"

I can't answer him. The tears are flowing faster. Harsh sobs are escaping my throat. All I can do is nod my head. I hear a scuffle behind me. I know one of my brothers is trying to come after me and the other is holding him back. It doesn't matter which is which. I know they both hate me. My place in this family has been completely and utterly destroyed. As soon as I know he will be all right, I will leave this island, this family behind. I know that it will be best for my family. It is the least that I can do after what has happened.

I didn't know that my dad had even moved until I felt his arm come around my shoulders.

"Ssh, we will work this all out. I don't know what all happened, but I won't let this tear our family apart. We will work this out together, as a family." My dad says softly.

Hearing the concern and love in my father's words, I lose what little control I had on my emotions. Still holding my brother's hand, I lean into my dad's chest and sob uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. I was so mad. I just wanted him to leave me alone. I didn't know he was hurt. I swear to God that I didn't know. I never would have left him if I had known." I choked out between sobs.

My dad wrapped both arms around me and rocked me gently. "Ssh, I know son. I know. Ssh, we will get through this. I promise. Ssh, I love you, son."

Suddenly, I feel my brother's hand tighten around mine. My throat tightens when I look into my brother's pain-filled eyes.

"I am so sorry. I never meant this to happen. Please forgive me." I plead.

"It's alright," he said as his eyes drifted closed once again.

I know that my brother has forgiven me. The only question is: How do I ever forgive myself? No answers come but the darkness does.

In the sickroom, Jeff calls for Brains as his son collapses half in the chair and half in his arms.

_TBC_

**Author's note:** Wow, are we mean or what? Please be kind in the reviews. Grumpy has already climbed under her rock and is hiding. Chapter 2 will be up soon. We promise.


	2. A Brother Is Angry

A BROTHER'S CRY

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter 2 – A Brother Is Angry 

Jeff carried Gordon to a second bio-bed. While Brains begins to examine Gordon, Jeff turns to his other sons.

"Scott, Virgil, I want you to go get John from Thunderbird 5. Set it on auto. We need to deal with this as a family."

Scott tried to argue. "But dad . . ."

Jeff cut him off. "I know you are both extremely angry with Gordon right now. A lot of your feelings are borne out of concern for Alan, but Alan will be ok. Now we need to figure out how to heal this family. Now go."

Scott knew by the tone of his dad's voice that it was useless to argue. So he and Virgil left the sickroom and headed to Thunderbird 3.

The three brothers returned to Tracy Island three hours later. John went immediately to the sickroom. He found his dad dozing in a chair between the two beds.

John felt sick to his stomach as he approached the beds. He shuddered as he saw the various monitoring equipment hooked to his brothers. "Oh my God, how did this happen?" He whispered. He couldn't imagine Gordon hurting Alan like this. His eyes darted between his brothers. The worry that had been building in John all morning had finally reached the breaking point.

He did nothing to hide the anger in his voice when he turned on his dad. "How the hell did this happen? How could you be so blind? You can run a multi-billion dollar company. You are the head of International Rescue. Yet you miss what is happening to your own son right under your nose. Scott and Virgil did too. We are supposed to be able to trust each other with our lives. Can anyone explain to me how this happened?" John knew that he was ranting. He couldn't help himself until he looked at his dad's face. The anguish that he saw stopped him dead in his tracks. "Oh God Dad, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you. I'm just so worried and angry over this whole situation. I was just ranting. Please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive because you are right, John." Jeff stated sadly. "I have had my priorities wrong and now it is tearing this family apart."

"I know things look bleak right now. We are just angry at the whole situation, but we will get through this. Our strength has always been the way our family rallies around each other during a time of crisis. We will get through this. I promise." John said as he tried to keep the tears from falling. "How are they, physically, I mean." He asked his dad.

"Well," Jeff began, "Alan is pretty much the same. He will be fine with plenty of rest. Now, as for Gordon's condition, he is suffering from malnutrition, sleep deprivation, and a mild case of dehydration. Brains has set up an IV and also gave him a sedative."

John watched his dad carefully. Jeff seemed to have aged ten years in just a few hours. Something in his manner tipped John off.

"What else?"

Jeff looked at John, eyes shining with tears. "If I had known I would never have told him to do it. What if the damage is permanent?"

"Dad, what are you talking about? Who did what? What damage?"

"After Scott and Virgil left to get you, Gordon woke up. He was very agitated. He was trying to leave. He said that he was going to leave the island. He was so wound up that I thought it would be dangerous if he really tried to leave. So I ordered Brains to give him a sedative. When Brains got the test results back . . ." Jeff's voice choked with emotion.

John was beginning to panic. What could have happened to upset his dad so much? "What did the tests show?"

"His blood work showed both alcohol and barbiturates in his system, and his EKG showed an irregularity in his heartbeat. Brains is running some more tests to determine why."

"But you think it is because of the sedative."

"You know that drugs and alcohol don't mix. He already had both in his system and I added more drugs to the mix. I just ordered the sedative without considering the possible consequences."

"You can't blame yourself, dad. You didn't know about the drugs or alcohol. You were in a no-win situation. It could have been dangerous to let him go in the state he was in. Besides you don't know if the sedative had anything to do with the heart problem. Any number of things could be causing it. Just the stress alone could be a factor. That is why Brains is running more tests. You also don't know that it is permanent. Let's not borrow trouble.

John heard movement from Gordon's bed. He looked back at Gordon. Even with the sedative, he looked like he was wrestling with his blanket. John recognized the signs. He just hoped that his yelling at his dad hadn't set Gordon off. Well, he would do what he could to help him now. John sat on the edge of the bed and took Gordon's hand. He started talking softly to Gordon as he brushed a lock of hair away from Gordon's face.

"Ssh, Gordon, it's alright. It's just a dream. I'm here. I'll help you. Listen to my voice. I won't let anything happen to you. Remember Gordy, you can always trust me."

Jeff could see that John's quiet voice was having a calming effect on Gordon. "John, what's going on?"

"He is having a nightmare. My guess is that he has been having a lot of them lately."

"A nightmare? How do you know that?"

John turned slightly to look at his dad while still holding Gordon's hand. "This is how Gordon has nightmares. When the rest of us have nightmares, we tend to cry out in our sleep or wake up screaming. Gordon, though, never makes a sound. He twists himself up in his blanket and then wakes up with a gasp and with silent tears running down his face. It is really heartbreaking to watch. He started doing this after mom died. We were sharing a room back then. Remember? Well, anyways, we learned that if I talked to him quietly he would calm down. The next morning, we would talk about his nightmare. Eventually, it would work out of his system. Traumatic experiences trigger the nightmares. Things like mom's death, his hydrofoil accident, the first time International Rescue lost a victim caused him to have them. If I am on the island, I can usually tell if he is upset enough to have a nightmare and I sit with him. It's like a sixth sense that I developed. If I am on Thunderbird 5, he usually calls me when he wakes up from one and we talk it through. We have had quite a few chats in the middle of the night. I just wish that he had called me this time. Maybe talking about it would have prevented this. I don't know. It is at times like this, Dad, that I feel so cut off from my family." John's voice again choked with tears.

Jeff sighed. "I know John. I live here and I still feel cut off from my family. I never knew about Gordon's nightmares. I didn't even realize how bad he was getting. Alan had to point it out to me. What kind of father does that make me?"

"You are a great father. You have raised us to be five caring and responsible adults. You created a business that not only gave us fulfilling jobs but also helps better the world. You are unfortunately just a human being. You miss things. You are not perfect. Nobody is and nobody expects you to be, despite what I said earlier. You just do your best."

Jeff gave John a weak smile. "I know but it is difficult to believe that at times like this, though."

John smiled back. He could hear the fatigue and emotion in his dad's voice. John also heard the door to the sickroom open as Scott and Virgil entered.

"Dad, go get some rest. I'll stay here with the boys. Scott and Virgil will keep me company."

"But John, you just got here. You should take some time and freshen up. At least take time to get out of your uniform." Jeff said with a smirk.

John looked down at himself. With a half-smile on his lips, He said. "Yeah, I guess your right, Dad. I'll tell you what. I'll go freshen up but when I get back, I want you to go rest. OK."

"Sure John, I'll see you when you get back, Thank you." Jeff said as John left the room.

Scott and Virgil leaved against the wall near the door. John always seemed to be able to handle their father better. So they let him. But even they noticed the heaviness in their dad's voice.

"Hey, Dad, we can watch the boys if you want to head up with John." Scott volunteered.

"No, that's ok. I'll wait for John."

"Hey, don't you trust us?" asked Virgil, trying to lighten the mood.

The somber replied brought a heaviness to Scott and Virgil. "No, not right now I don't. I don't even trust myself. We let him down, boys. We let them both down." Silence reigned in the sickroom.

_TBC_

Author's notes – Thank you to everyone who has read our story, and a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed. We are glad that people are enjoying it.

For those who were frustrated by who was who – sorry. The muse demanded it, strenuously. It was beating into Grumpy's head "NO NAMES." We felt that the suspense of not knowing would add to the drama of the story.

**Spence** – How did you do? Did you get it right?

**AngelMouse5** – You were so close. Three out of four is not bad.

**Rachie Tracy** – Grumpy sticks her arm out to wave, but she isn't ready to come out from under her rock just yet.

**Buann** – Congratulations, you won the cookie. You were able to correctly identify the brothers. – Yeah.

**Zeilfanaat** – Sorry about you leaving. Depending on how long you are gone, Grumpy may be out from the rock by then…or not.

**throwra-angel – **Well, here was chapter 2. We hope you liked it as much as the first.


	3. The Brothers Argue

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter 3 – The Brothers Argue 

When John returned, Virgil went with their dad to help get him settled.

"I don't think I can rest. I keep seeing them lying in those beds. How did it get so out of hand? I knew that Gordon was blaming himself. I should have stepped in sooner."

"Hey Dad, you can't blame yourself. That is what Gordon has done and it has eaten him alive. Don't let that happen to you. Let me get Kyrano. He will make you some tea. That always seems to help relax you."

After Virgil got Kyrano to take care of Jeff, he headed back to the sickroom. He could tell that his brothers were arguing in quiet but angry tones.

"I am not talking about Alan. I am talking about Gordon. How could you not see how bad he was getting? Look at him Scott. Take a good hard look."

Gordon was wrapped up in his blanket because of his earlier nightmare. The dark circles under his eyes stood out predominately on his pale face indicating the deep torment within him. Just how deep is now becoming glaringly apparent to his brothers.

John continued. "Brains told me he has lost just over twenty pounds. Twenty pounds Scott, in just three weeks. How did you not notice? Alan noticed. He called me and told me that he was worried. Since I couldn't get Gordon to talk to me, I told Alan to get you involved. Did he? Did you try to help him?"

Scott exploded. "So now this is my fault. That's rich coming from you. You sit up on Thunderbird 5 all safe and secure while we do all the work. Then when there is a problem, you come down here and start making accusations."

John broke in. "Scott, I am just trying to . . . "

"Shut up, John. I don't need your lectures." Scott started but Virgil broke him off.

"Guys, stop this. Fighting between ourselves is not helping the problem."

Scott abruptly stood up. "I don't need a lecture from you either, Virgil." Then he left the room.

Virgil turned to John. He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but John heard it anyways. "We tried John. We really did. I will admit that he had me fooled the first couple of weeks, but eventually I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the weight loss. Although I didn't realize how much weight he had lost. I figured between five and ten pounds but not twenty. He was real good at hiding it under baggy t-shirts. He also tried to avoid us as much as possible. He went to the lagoon during the day and then spent the evenings in his room. Both Scott and I tried to talk to him at different times, but he just got mad and told us to leave him alone. Yesterday morning we talked to Dad about it. When Dad tried to talk to Gordon they ended up in a huge fight. Gordon said that he was going to quit International Rescue." Virgil paused a moment. He blinked a couple of times as he fought back the emotions that were raging in him.

"John, we have all had rescues that went bad. We deal with them in different ways, but Gordon has refused to talk about it at all. He only gave us a brief account of what happened in that cave. He has been purposely shutting us out, John. Part of Scott's anger is really at himself because he didn't notice the problem earlier. I feel the same way. We don't need you to tell us how we screwed up because we already know.

John could tell that Virgil was struggling with his emotion. He wanted to help him but his own emotions were keeping him from thinking straight. He put his arm around Virgil's shoulder. "I know Virg. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing anyone. I am just trying to figure out what has been happening to Gordon. Just so you know, I am feeling pretty guilty about it too. I should have known how bad he was when he refused to talk to me. I should have talked to you and Scott about it, but I didn't. Gordon has always come to me with his problems before. I just figured He would again."

"Why wouldn't he talk to us? We are his family for God's sake. Why did he feel like he had to hide his pain from us?"

I don't know Virgil. Only Gordon can answer those questions." After a brief pause, John asked. "So what do we do about it now?"

"We let the boys rest awhile. Then we find out what really happened, including what happened on that rescue. We need to know why Gordon is so guilt-ridden over that young woman's condition."

John and Virgil turned to see their dad standing inside the door with Scott next to him.

"Dad, I thought you were resting." Said John.

"I did get some rest, but now I need to be with my sons."

"Well, I don't care what Gordon's problem is." Scott said hotly. "He brought this on himself. We have all tried to help him but he just pushed us away. Alan especially tried to reach out to him and look what he got for his trouble."

"Scott . . ." Both John and Virgil started.

Jeff stopped them. "No boys, if we are going to deal with this we have to be honest about our feelings. Scott has a right to be angry. I am angry." Turning to Scott he said, "The thing we have to remember is that anger can tear us up inside just like guilt. We need to work this out before that happens. Right?"

Scott saw the concern in his father's eyes and pulled him into an embrace. "Right, Dad."

When Scott let go of his father, he found himself being pulled into John's embrace. "Scott, I'm sorry about earlier. I should have let you explain but I was in full rant mode. I know none of this is your fault."

Scott pulled back. "That's ok John. Full rant mode is a Tracy family trait."

"Well, you should have heard me go off on Dad." John said with a sheepish look on his face.

Scott gave John a small smirk. "You went off on Dad? And lived? You are a lucky man."

_TBC_

Author's note: Grumpy has stuck her head out from under her rock. She is asking, "They like it? They really like it?" We are glad that most people seemed to like the story so far.

**fellowriverrat** – we're not telling. You will just have to keep reading.

**AngelMouse5, Vorserkein, Barb from utah, numbuh 14** – Thank you for your kind reviews. It is a good feeling to know that all our hard work is appreciated.

**Gordon Fan** – (response to chp. 1) Ingenious idea to check the character/stories link. I hadn't thought about that when I set it up.


	4. A Brother Remembers

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever

Chapter 4 – A Brother Remembers 

It had been two days since Alan and Gordon had been brought to the sickroom. Alan's wrist had been put in a cast and his shoulder had been reset. His arm was immobilized in a sling. It was a good thing that both injuries were on the same side because that meant that he still had use of one arm. He still had a persistent headache from the concussion but the pain meds Brains gave him made it bearable. He was now itching to be released from the sickroom. Brains said that maybe later in the day he could leave with the promise of taking it easy.

Gordon was also itching to get out of the sickroom but Brains was adamant. He was not going to release him until he put back on some of the weight that he had lost. He still had his IV and Brains had him on a soft diet. The good news was that his heart rate stabilized once his electrolyte levels were balanced. He had to admit that he was feeling better physically after he was hydrated and got some sleep.

Jeff came into the sickroom with the boys' lunch. He felt sorry for Gordon. Alan was getting stuffed pork chops, baked potato, mixed vegetables and double chocolate cake for dessert. Gordon, on the other hand, was getting scrambled eggs, dry toast, and something resembling thin cream of wheat. Jeff's sympathy was for nothing. Just the smell of Alan's lunch turned Gordon's stomach. He wanted to refuse the food but he didn't for two reasons. One: He wanted out of the sickroom. Two: He knew that his dad would sit with him until he cleaned his tray.

Gordon seemed surprised when all his brothers came in together a short time later. They had been in and out of the sickroom at different times since they woke up but rarely were they all together. It also did not escape Gordon's attention that Scott was trying to find a balance point. He wanted to be as close to Alan as he could get but at the same time he wanted to be as far away from Gordon as he could get. Scott had yet to say anything to him at all. No yelling, no lectures, he just acted like Gordon wasn't even in the room. Gordon knew that his relationship with his older brother would be hard to repair. That is if it could be repaired.

Jeff cleared his throat to get his son's attention.

"Ok, I gathered everyone together so that we can discuss the actions of the last few weeks and more importantly our reactions to these events. So let's start at the beginning. Gordon, I want you to start with what happened on that rescue three weeks ago."

Gordon looked terrified. "Dad, I can't. I just can't." He whispered. "You don't understand. I put her in that wheelchair."

John sensed Gordon's emotion and moved to his brother's bed. He sat down and took his brother's hand in his own. Gordon was glad that John was there. He had been helping with the nightmares the last couple of days. Gordon still didn't want to talk about the rescue in front of his brothers. He made a mistake that cost a woman her ability to walk. How could his brothers ever trust him again? His thoughts were interrupted by John's voice.

"It's ok, Gordon. We are all here for you. Whatever happened, it doesn't matter. We love you no matter what."

Gordon took a deep breath and gripped John's hand. With his brother's support, he could do this. "Ok, here it goes."

_Flashback to Three Weeks Earlier_

"Ok boys," Jeff said. "We have a report of an earthquake four miles off the California coast. There is some damage on land, but the main problem is there is a group of divers that are trapped in an off shore cave. Scott head off. Virgil, Gordon get to Thunderbird 2. Take Pod 4."

A chorus of "F-A-B Dad" echoed as the boys took off.

"Thunderbird 1 to Thunderbird 2, come in Virgil." Called Scott.

"I read you Scott. What is the situation?"

"John is downloading the co-ordinates of the cave into Thunderbird 4. Once you drop the pod, meet me at co-ordinates R437.42W. There is a tanker truck carrying liquid hydrogen that is stuck on a guardrail over a 30-foot drop. We can use the magnetic clamps from Thunderbird 2 to put it back on the road."

"F-A-B Scott. ETA to drop zone is 6.8 minutes. Then another 4.4 minutes to your co-ordinates."

"F-A-B Virgil, I'll see you in eleven minutes. Thunderbird 1 out."

Virgil called to Gordon who was prepping Thunderbird 4. "Hey Gordon, will you be okay handling the rescue by yourself?"

"Not a problem, big brother." Gordon answered.

"Well, just be careful out there. If you have a problem, give a yell out, and we will be right back."

"Virgil, has anyone told you that you are worse than a mother hen?" Gordon chuckled.

"All the time little brother, all the time. Preparing to drop the pod in 30 seconds, Gordon."

"F-A-B Virgil, ready and raring to go."

While Virgil and Scott successfully moved the truck, Gordon made his way to the cave. He found that the entrance was partially blocked by a large boulder. Using the grappling hook, he was able to remove the boulder with little difficulty. It came to rest on the ocean floor with the rocks that had fallen during the earthquake. The opening was large enough that he was able to pilot Thunderbird 4 into the cave. His thermal scans showed that all four members of the diving party were together near the back of the cave. "This is going to be easier than I thought." Gordon said to himself.

When Thunderbird 4 surface in the cave, Gordon climbed out and swan over to the divers.

"I'm from International Rescue. I came to help you. Is anyone hurt?"

"I am afraid that we all have injuries. My name is Jennifer. I think that I may have dislocated my knee. Robert has a broken collarbone. Melanie has some bruised ribs. Lastly, Michael has some sort of head injury. He has been in and out of consciousness since the quake but he has been disoriented each time. He also seems to be having problems breathing, but his tank was damaged in the quake. So I gave him mine, but it's almost out of air.

"Ok, let me go get the med-kit. We have to stabilize these injuries before we can move them." Gordon swam back to Thunderbird 4 and retrieved the medical supplies and a backboard. Gordon swam back to the group.

"Ok Jennifer, I have a splint for your leg, and I need to secure Robert's arm to his side to immobilize that collarbone. There is really not much we can do for Melanie's ribs. I want to get a neck brace on Michael and I want him on a backboard. Since he has not been able to tell us if he is hurt anywhere else, I don't want to take any chances." He also exchanged the near empty air tank Michael had been using with a full one from Thunderbird 4.

After Gordon had tended to the injuries, he turned to Jennifer. "We do have one small problem. As you can see Thunderbird 4 is small, there is only room for me and three other people. Now I know it means leaving you behind, but I really think that I should get these three out first so that they can get immediate medical attention. I will leave an emergency air tank here in case something happens."

"You are completely right. I'll just stay here and enjoy the solitude. I don't mind really."

"Ok, I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." Gordon still had a look of concern on his face. He really hated leaving anyone behind.

Jennifer laughed. "Get Going Mr. International Rescue. The sooner you leave, the sooner you will be back. I will be fine. Go, shoo." As she waved him away.

"Alright, alright. There is a small shelf here that you can sit on while I get these three in the sub."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

It only took a few minutes to get the three passengers into Thunderbird 4. Gordon waved to Jennifer out the window. Then he turned and headed out of the cave.

On his way to the surface, he put a call into Scott. "Thunderbird 4 to Thunderbird 1, come in please."

"I read you Gordon. Did you get the divers?"

"I have three of the four. They all need medical attention. Please have the paramedics standing by. My ETA to shore is 2.7 minutes."

"F-A-B, we'll be waiting."

Again the transfer of the injured divers only took a few minutes. Gordon headed back to Thunderbird 4.

"Hey," Virgil called to him. "Do you want me to keep you company?"

"Nah, that's okay. I just want to get back down there and get Jennifer. I should be back in a flash."

"Ok, see you Gordon."

_TBC_

**Author's note – **Grumpy is now sitting on her rock. We can only hope that she will stay there.

**Darkangel2005** – All will be revealed in due time. Please be patient with us.

**barb from utah** – Sibling interaction is wonderful, isn't it? We both come from large families. Some of that gets incorporated into the story.

**Iniysa, numbuh 14, AngelMouse5** – Thank you for the great reviews. Convert was a little concerned about that chapter. We are so glad that you enjoyed it.


	5. A Brother's Living Nightmare

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever

Chapter 5 – A Brother's Living Nightmare 

Gordon made his way back to the cave opening. As he made his approach, he noticed that rocks were again sliding over the opening. "Oh no, an aftershock" was his first thought. There was no way he could fit Thunderbird 4 through the opening now. The new rocks seemed to have wedged themselves into the opening but there was still enough room for an individual to get through. He would have to swim to reach Jennifer. He grabbed the emergency kit and made his way out the air lock.

Gordon swam through the opening and surfaced in the cave. What he saw horrified him. Jennifer floated facedown in the water a few feet from him. Rocks continued to rain down from the ceiling.

"No," yelled Gordon as he swan over to her. Gently turning her over, he checked her vitals. He was relieved to find that she had a pulse and was still breathing although shallowly. Apparently she had only just fallen in the water. She had a small gash on her forehead. He tried to wake her up. "Jennifer, I'm back. Can you hear me? Jennifer, open your eyes." His only response was a groan.

More rocks fell. Gordon tried to protect Jennifer the best he could. He hissed in pained as a rock hit him creating a four inch long jagged cut on his upper arm. He knew that they needed to get out of the cave, now. Gordon was torn. He didn't know what injuries Jennifer had. He could make things worse by moving her. On the other hand, it wasn't safe to wait with the cave collapsing around them. Gordon noticed the emergency air tank that he left with Jennifer was floating in the water on the other side of the cave. Gordon went to retrieve it. He was mildly surprised to find it still in working order. On his way back he was hit by more falling rocks. He was pushed under the water. As he surfaced he tried to draw a deep breath but his ribs protested strenuously. Gordon groaned. "Great, just great, bruised maybe even broken ribs. This is just what I didn't need."

Gordon returned to Jennifer's side. He put the mask on Jennifer's face. Then he put on his own. His mind was made up. They were getting out of that damn cave. He knew that it would be a struggle to get back to Thunderbird 4 with Jennifer because of his ribs. He also knew that if any more rocks hit him, the situation would only grow worse.

Gordon looped his cut arm around Jennifer and began swimming toward the cave opening. He tried to keep his breathing somewhat shallow to ease the pain in his ribs. His cut arm burned with the salt water. When they reached the cave entrance, Gordon noticed that more rocks had blocked the entrance even further. He could see that it would be a tight fit and some extra maneuvering would be required, but they could still get out. That is exactly what they did. Once out of the cave, it was only a matter of minutes before they were back on Thunderbird 4.

When he opened the air lock he could hear Virgil's panicked voice over the comm. "Gordon, are you there? Can you hear me? Damn it, answer me!"

Gordon ignored the calls while he got Jennifer settled. He put a neck collar on her and put her on a backboard. He prayed that moving her didn't hurt her worse, but he just couldn't seem to shake the knot that was twisting in his gut.

Once he was satisfied that he had done all that he could for her at the moment. He returned to the cockpit. "Virgil, I'm here. I read you."

"Gordon, where the hell have you been? We have been trying to reach you since the after-shock. Are you ok? You scared…"

Virgil would have gone on but Gordon interrupted him. "Virgil, when I got back to the cave, it was collapsing. Jennifer was knocked out. It took me awhile to get her out. Have the paramedics meet me. ETA is 3.1 minutes."

"Why didn't you answer on your portable comm.?" Virgil asked.

"I never heard anything over that comm.. It's either broken or something in the cave was causing interference. I'll have Brains check it out once we get back home. I'm almost back. Be ready to meet me."

"F-A-B Gordon, are you ok?"

"I'm fine Virg. I just want to get this rescue over with."

Virgil could tell that Gordon was lying. He could hear the pain in his voice, but he decided that he could wait a few minutes to find out what was really wrong.

Scott and Virgil helped Gordon remove Jennifer from Thunderbird 4 and turned her over to the paramedics.

"Alright, I am going to go load up Thunderbird 4 into her pod." Said Gordon as he turned to walk away.

"Whoa, wait a minute." Scott said grabbing his good arm. "Let Virgil take care of Thunderbird 4. You need to be looked at by a paramedic."

"But Scott…"

"No buts, Gordon. Do you really think that we haven't noticed your bloody arm or that you wince whenever you take a deep breath? What's going on?"

"Look Scott, It's no big deal. I got hit by a couple of falling rocks. One cut my arm and I have a couple of bruised ribs. Brains can take care of it when we get home."

"I still want you to be looked at by a medic just to be sure. Virgil, go load up Thunderbird 4."

"F-A-B, Scott." Virgil said as he turned to leave thankful that Scott had also noticed that their little brother was in pain.

"Come on Gordon." Scott said as he steered him over to the paramedics who were still working on Jennifer." Let's get you checked out.'

Gordon rolled his eyes but he allowed himself to be examined. The medic irrigated the cut and probed his ribs, which brought a hiss of pain from Gordon.

"Well," The paramedic started while looking between Gordon and Scott. "The cut on your arm will need stitches and you will probably need an antibiotic since you were in the ocean. You never know what nasty little bugs are floating around out there. You are probably right about your ribs being bruised but you'll need x-rays just to make sure that none are broken."

"Hey Chuck," The other paramedic called. "I think she is waking up."

"Ok Hank," Chuck said. Turning back to Gordon, "Alright guys, I will be right back." Then he moved over to help Hank with Jennifer.

Gordon sat and stared at Jennifer. He could hear her moans as she rose to consciousness. "Welcome back," Hank said as she opened her eyes. "Do you think that you could answer a few questions for us?"

"Sure," she replied unable to keep the pain out of her voice.

"Can you tell me where you hurt?" Hank asked.

"My head and my shoulders are the worst. My ribs ache and I feel nauseous."

"Anything else? How about your legs and arms? Does your knee feel any worse?"

Jennifer contemplated the questions. "My arms are ok, but I can't feel my legs."

Gordon hung his head when he heard her last statement. He was trying to keep the tears from falling when he heard Virgil return.

"How is he?" Virgil asked Scott.

"He needs stitches and x-rays, but he'll be ok."

Chuck returned to Gordon's side. "Ok, I'm back. We are almost ready to transport Jennifer. You can ride in the same ambulance."

"No." Gordon interrupted. "I am going home." Gordon started to walk away with Virgil beside him.

"But sir," said Chuck. "You still need medical attention."

Scott did not argue with Gordon. He knew Brains could deal with the injuries back on the island. Turning to Chuck, "Don't worry about it. I'll make sure that he is taken care of." Then he followed his brothers to Thunderbird 2.

Virgil was settling Gordon into a bed in the medical unit when Scott joined them. He had not said a word since he walked away from the paramedics.

Scott quietly asked him. "Are you sure that you are ok?"

"Sure Scott, I'm not the one that is paralyzed." Gordon closed his eyes as one lone tear escaped and made it's way down his cheek.

_TBC_

**Authors note** – We want to thank everyone for the great reviews. We are still new to fan fiction and your encouragement is very meaningful to us.

**numbah 14, throwra-angel** – The revelation of the whole sad tale will still take a few more chapters until the confrontation.

**Darkangel2005** – Are you psychic or something? You will understand that comment in a future chapter.

**AngelMouse5, barb from utah** – Scott is going to be a beast for a while, unfortunately. Siblings can get so stubborn when it comes to fights between themselves.

**Aussie Munckin** – We are more than willing to accept cyber-hugs. Thanks

**rozzy07** – We are pleased to welcome you to our story. We are glad that you are enjoying it.


	6. A Brother Watches

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Six – A Brother Watches 

"Hey, Gordon," Alan calls to him. "Dad says that dinner is ready."

"I'll be right in." Gordon answered.

It had been three days since that rescue that went horribly wrong. The debriefing had been murder. His family tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault. He can still recall his dad's words. "You didn't have a choice. You did not have room in Thunderbird Four for everyone. You didn't know that an aftershock would bring the cave down. You do your best but sometimes things are out of our hands."

Gordon heard them, but he just couldn't believe them. The same thoughts kept running through his head. "My head knows that they are right, but my heart is having a hard time believing that. It was my decision to leave her behind. It was my decision to leave the cave without knowing the extent of her injuries. It was my job to get those divers out. I failed Jennifer. It was all me.

"Hey Gords, come on. I'm hungry and Dad won't let us start until everyone is at the table." This time it was Virgil that called to him.

"Ok, I'm coming." He yells as he gets up from the lounge chair by the pool. Slowly he makes his way to the kitchen.

As he sat at the table, he could feel his Dad giving him a once over. "Son, are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah Dad, I'm fine."

Jeff looked skeptical. He could sense that Gordon was still troubled by the rescue three days before. "You know, if you want to talk, my door is always open."

"That goes for me too." Said Scott.

"Me too." Was echoed by his other brothers.

"I know. This is just something that I need to work out on my own. I'll be fine. By the time Brains releases me for active duty, I'll be right as rain." Gordon told his family.

The matter was dropped for the time being. Alan though watched his brother. He was trying to put on a brave face, but Alan could tell that this was eating him up inside. He watched as Gordon spent most of the time pushing his food around his plate. He ate a few bites in hopes that no one would notice his lack of appetite. Alan noticed though, and Alan was worried as hell.

One Week Later 

Brains was taking the stitches out of G-Gordon's arm. "Ok, Gordon, the arm looks g-g-good. H-H-How are the ribs f-feeling?"

"They are fine, Brains."

Brains eyed him. "How about your s-sleep?" I know that you were up at least t-two n-n-nights this week."

Gordon couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "I suppose I could ask you the same thing. If you're up to know when I am up, does that mean that you are unable to work?"

Gordon immediately felt sorry for snapping at Brains, but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about the nightmares he was having. He was only getting about three hours of sleep before he was jolted awake by them.

Brains was shocked. "I d-d-didn't say that you c-couldn't w-work. I am c-concerned. You have l-lost some weight in the last t-t-ten days. Is there something I m-missed?"

Gordon sighed. "I'm sorry, Brains. The antibiotic that you gave me has made me a little nauseous. I'm sure that my appetite will pick up now that I am off the meds. I'm fine really. Maybe a little tired of everyone watching me like I'm a china doll that is ready to break. I just need some time to work this out for myself. I just need a little space." He began to get angry the more he talked. Finally overcome with frustration, he punched the bed.

Brains listened as he heard the anger creeping into Gordon's voice. He jumped when Gordon punched the bed but tried to cover it. He was afraid that anything that he said would upset Gordon more so he remained quiet for the moment.

"Am I done, Brains? I would really like to leave now." Gordon asked.

"Ok, Gordon, we are d-done but I am going to r-r-recommend to your father that he keep you on inactive duty until I am sure that your r-ribs are 100."

"Fine Brains, I am just too tired to argue anymore." Gordon jumped off the bed and left the sick room.

Alan ran into Gordon in the lounge. He would not help but notice the anger on Gordon's face.

"Hey Gordon, How did it go?"

"Oh, shut up Alan." Gordon said as he stormed by.

Alan went to the sickroom to find Brains. "Hey Brains, did something happen with Gordon? He was really mad when he left here."

"You know b-b-better than to ask, A-Alan. I can't r-r-reveal anybody's m-m-medical records except to your f-f-father and then only if it affects I-I-International Rescue."

Alan sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm just so worried about him. He thinks he's got us fooled, but I know the truth. I've been watching him. He doesn't sleep well. He spends most of the time tossing and turning, and sometimes I hear him down in the gym. He's also not eating. Well at least he isn't eating much. You know that all of us Tracy boys have always had healthy appetites, but now Gordon only eats a few bites then he just pushes around his food until he feels that he can leave without arousing suspicion. I just don't know how to help him."

"Maybe you c-could ask John to talk to him." Brains suggested. "He always s-s-seems to have a way to get you b-b-boys to open up to him."

Alan's face brightened. "That is a great idea Brains. I think that I will go talk to John now."

"Are you sure that you're not over-reacting?" John asked. "Maybe he just needs some more time."

Alan sighed. "John, I've been watching him for the last week and a half. He's not getting better. He's getting worse. He needs help."

"Ok Alan, the next time you see Gordon, tell him that I would like to speak to him." John said.

"Thanks John." Alan replied. "I really appreciate this."

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Hi, everyone. Here's the next chapter. We hope you enjoy it.

**AngelMouse5** – We are glad you enjoyed it. We had our concerns about the rescue scene. We appreciate your encouraging comments.

**numbah 14** – Thanks for all your encouragement. Poor Gordon. Wait until you see what is in store for him.

**barb from utah –** Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. Too bad the Tracy brothers aren't as quick.


	7. A Brother Hides

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Seven – A Brother Hides 

When the Tracy brothers arrived at the breakfast table the next morning, they found Gordon already there. He was washing some breakfast dishes. Scott looked at him quizzically, but Gordon answered before Scott could even ask the question.

"Hi guys, I've decided to go out to the lagoon today. I won't be back for lunch, so I packed one. I'll be back before dinner." Gordon grabbed a backpack and a large thermos that was sitting by the door and headed out.

Alan ran to catch him. "Before you go Gordon, I have a message for you from John. He wants to talk to you. He says that you guys haven't talked in a couple of weeks."

"Ok, Alan, I'll give him a call when I get a free minute."

"Do you want some company? I can be ready in five minutes."

"No, I really would prefer to be alone today. It's my first outing since being injured so I would just like to be by myself. It's therapeutic to me. You understand, don't you Alan?"

"Of course, I do. I'll see you at dinner." Alan sincerely hoped that the trip to the lagoon would be beneficial to Gordon.

When Gordon returned from the lagoon, he seemed to be in a better mood. Alan's mood also brightened until he noticed that Gordon still didn't eat much at dinner.

The next morning Scott found Gordon in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee. "Hey Gordon, your up early. Do you have plans for today?"

"Sure Scott, I was going to head back to the lagoon today."

The klaxon sounded and Scott took off running. Gordon finished his coffee and headed to the lagoon. He sat on the beach just staring out over the water. He had hoped that being in one of his favorite spots would help him settle his emotions. It wasn't working. In his mind, he knew that he was not responsible for Jennifer's paralysis, but his heart needed to be convinced. Even he was getting scared at his lack of emotional control. He really was beginning to hate himself. He is a Thunderbird. He is supposed to be a professional, but he just couldn't seem to let it go. It was eating him alive. He knew it. He just couldn't stop it.

* * *

Because of back-to-back rescues, it was another two days before Alan had a chance to talk to Gordon.

"Hey Gordon, How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"How are things down at the lagoon?"

"Fine. It's peaceful out there. It's a good place to think."

"I talked to John earlier. He really wants to talk to you. It is not like you to go for a long period of time without talking to him. He is getting concerned. We all are."

Gordon knew that if he talked to John, John would see right through his false bravado. Although he would never admit to Alan why he was avoiding John.

"There is nothing to be worried about. I am working through this. After all, it has only been two weeks. Please Alan, just give me some space."

Gordon saw the look of pain that crossed Alan's face. He realized his tone was a lot harsher than he had intended. He wanted to apologize but couldn't get his mouth to work. Silently Alan turned and walked away.

* * *

"John, I am really scared. He thinks that he has us fooled, but I know that he is losing weight. He is not sleeping much either. I've heard him wandering the halls in the middle of the night. What should I do?" Alan asked his older brother.

"First of all, you need to calm down. If you get all worked up, you can't help Gordon." John told him. "Why don't you talk to Scott? He is down there and Gordon can't avoid him like he is avoiding me. You know, it is possible that he is working through it like he says."

"If you could see him, you would know better. I have to go." Alan disconnected the vid-link in a huff.

John did not know what to think. Alan seemed really concerned about Gordon. John also knew that in the past Gordon always came to him with his problems. Why wouldn't he this time? Maybe he should talk to Scott himself. No, he would let Alan talk to Scott. If Scott doesn't listen to Alan then he would call him.

* * *

The next two days Alan followed Gordon down to the lagoon. He watched as Gordon just sat on the beach. Alan couldn't understand how he could just sit there for hours on end. It was driving Alan crazy just watching him. Alan was more determined than ever. Something had to be done.

* * *

Gordon was somewhat relieved when a call to a mudslide kept his brothers away from the island for fifty hours. He felt bad that there was so much destruction and four people lost their lives, but at the same time he was glad that his brothers were gone for so long. Even when they got back, they all headed for their rooms to sleep. Not seeing his brothers for almost three days seemed like a real blessing to Gordon.

Later that evening, after his brothers got up, Gordon decided to hide in his room. He sat on the window seat staring at the stars. Maybe he should talk to John. It seemed to help with the nightmares in the past. Would John understand? Nobody else seems to understand his feelings or the fear that has resurfaced. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Assuming it was Alan, he stayed quiet, hoping to be left alone.

The knock came again. This time a voice accompanied it. "Gordon, it is Virgil. I know that you are in there. Please open the door."

Gordon sighed. He knew that Virgil would not leave without talking to him. Placing what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face he opened the door.

"Hey Virg, is something up?"

"No, I just thought that maybe we could talk."

"Sure, anything in particular?"

"I was hoping that we could talk about the rescue. I know that you are still bothered by it. I want to help."

"Let me guess. Alan has been talking to you. I'm fine. He just doesn't want to accept it. What did he say? I'm sure that he painted this picture of me going off the deep end. How crazy did he make me sound?"

Gordon was now in full rant mode. Virgil was stunned. Very rarely did anyone ever see Gordon angry like this.

"Gordon, stop. Calm down."

Gordon glared at Virgil. "Maybe you should go."

"Alright, but first I want to say something. Alan has not talked to me. I noticed that you still seemed upset. Usually when I have a bad rescue, I talk to Scott. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to get it off your chest." Virgil started to leave but stopped at the opened door. Turning back to Gordon, he said. "Think about this Gordon. Both Alan and I have noticed a change in you. Maybe you aren't as 'fine' as you think." With that Virgil left the room.

Gordon could feel the anger coursing through him. He picked up the coffee mug that was sitting on the desk and threw it at the wall. He watched as it shattered and cold coffee ran down the wall. He was shaking. He felt like he was going to explode. He had to do something. So he headed to the gym to work out. Maybe some time with the punching bag would help work out the anger.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Hi, guys. Two chapters in one day. Hooray. We are getting close to the end with the writing, so hopefully we can post more often.


	8. A Brother Gets Help

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Eight – A Brother Gets Help 

While Virgil was trying to talk to Gordon, Alan had cornered Scott. He explained his concerns. "…since he won't talk to John, John suggested that I talk to you. What do you think, Scott?"

"Well, I am not sure that it's as bad as you think. I've had rescues that have bothered me for months. It's been what? Two and a half weeks?"

Alan cut him off. "Two weeks and five days. But it's more than feeling bad about a rescue. He's not eating. He seems angry when he is around us which isn't very often if you have noticed."

"Ok, Alan, I'll admit that I have been busy with mission reports and working with Brains and Dad. Maybe I haven't noticed as much as you have. So this is what I am going to do. I will go and talk to Gordon. I will keep in mind your concerns and try to determine if they are valid. Will that be ok?"

"Yeah, I know that once you talk to him, you will understand." Alan said relieved that someone else was finally going to help.

* * *

Scott headed to the gym. Working out always helped him think and he wanted to be prepared when he talked to Gordon. When he entered the gym, he was surprised to find that Gordon was there beating on the punching bag with a vengeance.

Scott stood and watched Gordon. He could tell that Gordon's punches were a little off, like he was tired. He was breathing heavily. Scott also noticed that Alan was right about Gordon losing weight. His sweat-covered t-shirt clung to his chest emphasizing his lean frame. Scott decided that his talk could not wait until the morning.

"Hey Gordon," Scott said holding out a bottle of water to his brother. "You look like you could use a break. Why don't we sit down and have a talk?"

"Did Alan talk to you?" Gordon asked sarcastically.

"Well, yeah." But that was as far as Scott got.

"No."

"Excuse me, no? No, what?" Scott asked confused.

Gordon literally began yelling at Scott. "No, I am not going to talk to you. I am not going to talk about the rescue. I am not going to talk about my feelings. I don't need your help. I don't need anybody's help. I just want to be left alone." Gordon punched the wall and then stormed out the door.

Scott stared at the door. He couldn't believe what just happened. He had never seen Gordon that angry. He knew that Alan was right. Something was really wrong with Gordon. He also knew that he would need more help dealing with the situation.

* * *

The next morning the family gathered for breakfast.

"Has anyone seen Gordon this morning?" Scott asked.

"He left a note saying that he was going to the lagoon early this morning." Kyrano said.

"He sure has been spending a lot of time at the lagoon. I haven't seen much of him the past week or so." Jeff commented.

"Dad, we need to have a family discussion about Gordon." Scott began. "Maybe this would be the best time since we are all here, but Gordon isn't."

Jeff seemed puzzled. "Ok Scott, is there a problem?"

"Yeah, there is Dad. Alan, why don't you tell Dad what you told me last night?" Scott said as he looked over at Alan.

"Ok, sure," said Alan. "It started with his last rescue. It has really been bothering him, but he won't talk about it. Gordon seems to be taking it personally that the one girl was paralyzed. Since then he hasn't been eating or sleeping well."

"But I've seen him eat at dinner." Jeff interrupted.

"Dad, he only eats a few bites when he thinks people are watching." Alan said. "The rest of the time he just pushes the food around. He is also avoiding us. If you haven't notice, he spends all day down at the lagoon. Then after dinner he goes off to be alone in his room. When I try to talk to him he gets mad. That's not like Gordon."

"He got mad at me too when I tried to talk to him." Virgil added.

"He punched the wall when I tried to talk to him last night." Scott stated. "That is when I decided that we needed to discuss this."

"You mean that he is resorting to violence?" Jeff asked incredulously

"Just against himself, I think." Scott answered. "He didn't act like he was going to come at me. I think he is directing everything at himself."

Alan started in again. "Well, I haven't seen any violence yet, but I knew that it was only a matter of time. He just seems to be getting angrier and angrier. Eventually he is going to really explode. I also know that he has been getting up between three and five in the morning the past week."

"Ok, how do you know that?" Jeff asked Alan while wondering how he could have missed all this.

"My room is next to Gordon's. So I hear him when he is trying to occupy his time until about seven when he leaves to head to the lagoon. I have also noticed the dark circles under his eyes. A sure sign that he isn't sleeping well." Alan paused for a moment. Then he continued in a quieter voice. "There is one more thing that I have noticed and it has me really worried. He hasn't been swimming."

That statement brought a halt to everyone. Alan did not need to expound on that statement. Everyone knew that swimming was Gordon's deepest passion. He had learned to swim about the same time that he had learned to walk. He had even won an Olympic gold medal for swimming. He usually was in the water whenever he had a spare minute. For him to give that up was unthinkable.

After a quiet moment, Jeff cleared his throat. "Alan, are you sure? Maybe he is swimming down at the lagoon."

Alan just shook his head. "If you ask him that is what he will tell you, but I followed him to the lagoon a couple of times. All he does is sit on the beach and stares at the water." Alan's voice cracked with emotion. "Dad, it's like he is becoming a whole different person. I am really scared for him."

Jeff looked at Scott and Virgil. Virgil had his head bowed. Jeff could see that he was struggling with his emotions. Scott met his Dad's gaze. Jeff could see the pain and guilt in them. Jeff was sure that his own face mirrored Scott's. He had been so wrapped up in paperwork that he missed the fact that his son needed help.

"Ok, as soon as you are done with breakfast, we will get Gordon back here and have another family meeting. We will get through this as a family." Jeff stated confidently.

Almost as one, the three brothers pushed back their half-eaten breakfast. "I am done." The trio said.

Jeff had to smile. "Ok boys, go ahead and clean up in here. I want to make one phone call before…" The klaxon interrupted him. There was a moment of hesitation before Jeff said, "Let's go boys. We will deal with this when you get back."

It was nearly seven pm when the boys returned. Jeff decided that the mission debriefing could be done over dinner.

Alan came into the dinning room and sniffed loudly. "Kyrano, dinner smells delicious. Man, you have kept us so well fed that we haven't had a chance to miss Grandma's cooking."

"I am glad you have enjoyed my cooking, Mr. Alan, but I will be pleased to have my daughter and your grandmother back. Two months is a long time to be separated from loved ones." Kyrano replied.

"You are absolutely correct Kyrano." Jeff said. "Mother felt that she had to help her friend recover from hip surgery. I am just glad that Tin-tin was willing to help her with Mrs. Long. I know that mother could not have done it alone even though she would never admit it."

The boys dug in eagerly into their dinner while at the same time discussing the rescue. "It was a pretty straight forward rescue." Scott explained. "Some careless housekeeper at a high-rise hotel dropped her cigarette into a laundry cart. By the time that the fire was discovered, it had spread to the ventilation system. Virgil used Thunderbird 2 to rescue the people from the roof while Alan used the firefly to help put out the fire. Although the fire department seemed to have control of things."

"Any problems that we should discuss?" Asked Jeff.

"Not any that I can think of. I will get you the official report for the files tomorrow barring any complications."

"Thanks, Scott."

Gordon decided that he had had enough. Standing up he said. "Dad, I'm finished. I think that I will head to bed early."

"Wait a minute, Gordon. I need to have a family meeting." Looking around the table, Jeff continued. "Can everyone meet in the lounge in a half hour."

A chorus of "sure, Dad" came from around the table. Jeff turned to Gordon who looked like he wanted to refuse, but finally he just nodded his head.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Well we're back. Here's the next chapter. We hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be up shortly.

**AngelMouse5** – We are glad that you liked it. Writing emotions can be daunting. We are also grateful for your faithfulness with your reviews. Thanks a million.

**numbah 14** – Oh yes, his fears play a big part over the next few chapters.

**Darkangel2005** – Just a few more chapters until the "confrontation." We promise.


	9. The Brothers Intervene

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Nine – The Brothers Intervene 

When Gordon reached the lounge, he found the rest of his family, minus John, waiting for him. He got the distinct impression that this was one family meeting that he was going to hate.

Jeff spotted Gordon standing at the door. "Come on in Gordon and have a seat."

The only seats available were the two chairs in front of his father's desk. Gordon felt like he was being put on display. It was a feeling that turned his stomach, but he sat anyways. His suspicions of the topic of this family meeting were confirmed when his father sat in the chair across from him instead of behind the desk like usual.

"Gordon," his father started. "I have called this meeting because your brothers and I are concerned about you."

Gordon interrupted his dad. "I should have known. Alan had this fixation that I am losing my mind. First he sucks in my brothers. Now he is dragging you in too. So let me guess. This must be some form of 'intervention.'" Is Kyrano off packing me a bag to take to the 'looney bin'?" He did nothing to keep the anger out of his voice.

Jeff was startled by Gordon's reaction. "Gordon, please. Ever since that bad rescue, you seem to be withdrawing. Alan obviously noticed first, but now that he has pointed it out, we all can see the signs. We want to help you. I hope that you will let us."

Gordon stared angrily at his family. "You all say that you want to help me. You ask me what you can do. But you don't listen when I say that I want to be left alone. I have to work this out myself. I am out of here." Gordon stood and headed for the door.

"Gordon!" Jeff thundered. "Sit down." Jeff could see the defiance in Gordon's face. Softening his voice, "Please," he said. Gordon reluctantly sat back down. Turning to the other three boys, he said. "I would like to speak to Gordon alone, please." The boys got up and left the room, but Jeff knew that they weren't far away.

Jeff pulled his chair closer to Gordon's and sat down. "Gordon, I know that I am not handling this well at all. I know that you say that you want to work it out alone, but you aren't. The more you are alone, the worse you get. You look so tired and you have been losing weight. You are angry and defiant. This isn't you. Please talk to me. Let me help you."

Gordon looked at his dad sullenly. "You wouldn't understand."

"I know that you feel guilty over…" Jeff started to say when Gordon jumped up and started to rant.

"That is just it Dad. You don't know what I am feeling. You have no idea in the world how it feels to be paralyzed. To wake up and not be able to feel your own legs. To have doctors tell you that you will never be able to walk again. To have to face the rest of your life in a wheelchair. To face the pity in people's eyes when they see you. I do though, Dad. I know exactly what Jennifer is feeling. I lived it. I went through all the emotions: anger, denial, and fear. I know how in one instance your whole life can change. I still have nightmares of waking up in the hospital. I was terrified. To know that I am responsible for another person going through that is unbearable."

Out in the hallway, the three brothers finally understood. "My God," Alan said. "Why didn't we make the connection before? Can you imagine the memories that have resurfaced?"

Scott just stared at the ceiling while Virgil stared at the floor. They both were calling themselves any number of fools for not making the connection.

Meanwhile back in the lounge, Jeff was trying to talk to his son. "Gordon, what happened to Jennifer was not your fault. You did what you could. Some things are just beyond your control."

"I should have never left her alone in that cave."

"You didn't have a choice. You needed to get the others to safety."

"All I know is that she was awake and able to move her legs when I left her, but then she was paralyzed when I returned. I made the decision to leave her. It was my responsibility. I made a mistake and she paid the price." Gordon's voice drifted to a whisper. He sat back down and buried his head in his hands.

Jeff reached out and put his hands on Gordon's shoulders. Quietly he said. "Gordon, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will do anything I can to help you. However, there are two things that I want you to do for me. Can you?" Gordon silently nodded his head. "Good, good. Ok, the first thing I want is for Brains to give you a complete physical. I am concerned about your weight loss and your sleeplessness." Gordon raised his head and looked at his Dad but didn't say anything. "The second thing is that I want you to talk to Dr. Shipman."

"Who is Dr. Shipman?" Gordon asked.

"He is a psychologist that I…"

"A shrink!" Gordon exploded as he jumped up from his chair. "I don't need a damn shrink. I am not crazy! I just need some time."

Gordon continued his angry rant while Jeff sat there. He had never seen Gordon this angry.

"I told you. Nobody understands me. You don't understand." Gordon began pacing around the room. "A shrink! I can't believe you Dad. Just how in the hell am I even supposed to explain all this to a shrink? 'Well Doc, I am feeling guilty as sin because I screwed up and an innocent young woman ended up in a wheelchair. Don't ask me any details because the who, when, where and how are all top secret.' That really will get me a one-way ticket to the psych ward."

"Gordon, it wouldn't be like that. Dr. Shipman already knows about International Rescue."

"Oh great, an International Rescue operative. Are you sure you want to do that? It wouldn't look good if it got out that one of the Thunderbird pilots has lost his mind."

"Gordon, calm down."

"Calm down. Calm down." Gordon yelled. "I am so tired of people telling me what to do and what to feel. I know that you all think that I am crazy. I know that you are just looking for a reason to get rid of me."

"Gordon," a shocked Jeff said. "You are being paranoid. We don't want to get rid of you. We love you. You are an important part of this family. You are a vital member of International Rescue."

Gordon interrupted his Dad. "Right, International Rescue. That is what is most important here, isn't it Dad?" Gordon walked over to the desk and picked up the picture of the five Tracy boys in the IR uniforms. "That is what you are really worried about. It's not me that you are worried about. It's International Rescue. I screwed up on a rescue, and the whole world knows it. There is now a chink in the armor of the great International Rescue. Well, you know what Dad? You can shove IR up your ass! **I QUIT! **Do you hear me? **I QUIT!**" He threw the picture as hard as he could against the wall. The glass shattered as it hit the wall and fell to the floor. "I quit International Rescue. I quit this family." With those final words, he stormed from the lounge and ran directly into his three brothers.

"I know that you guys have been out here listening. Well, be happy guys. After tomorrow, you will never see me again." He then disappeared around the corner.

Scott, Virgil and Alan went into the lounge to check on their father. They found him holding the broken picture with a single tear slowly making it's way down his face.

"Dad, are you ok? Is there anything that we can do?" Scott asked.

"I'm ok Scott. I think the best thing to do is for everyone to get some rest. It has been an exhausting day."

"But what about Gordon?" Alan demanded.

Jeff sighed. "Gordon is too worked up right now. He can't leave until tomorrow. Hopefully by then he will have settled down and changed his mind. If we keep after him tonight, it will just drive him farther away. So just let it drop for tonight. Ok?"

"Do you think that he will really leave?" Virgil asked.

"I certainly hope not." Jeff said looking back down at the picture he was holding. "How could he think that I care more about International Rescue than him? Do any of you feel that way?"

The three boys shook their heads, but it was Scott who spoke. "None of us feel that way, not even Gordon. He is not himself. It was the guilt and the anger talking. We all joined International Rescue willingly because we believed in the values that it promotes."

"Thanks, Scott. I needed to hear that. Go ahead and get some sleep. I need to make one phone call and then I am heading to bed."

After the boys left the lounge, Jeff sat at his desk and dialed the number to Dr. Shipman's private line.

_TBC_

**Author's note** - Well, here is the next chapter. We said that it would be up shortly. We hope to post again tomorrow.

**Personal note from Magratconvert **- In this chapter the term 'looney bin' was used. It was not intended to be derogative toward Psychiatric hospitals or anyone who has stayed there. It was only used to convey the depth of the depression that Gordon had fallen into. Before anyone says that I don't understand, I want to state that I spent two months in-patient and one month out-patient in a psychiatric ward for depression. A lot of what Gordon in going through, I have pulled from my own experiences.


	10. A Brother's Confrontation

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Ten – A Brother's Confrontation 

Alan spent most of the night tossing and turning in bed. He dozed off and on, but he was too wound up to really sleep. He was too worried about Gordon. He had been listening trying to hear Gordon in his room, but all was quiet from the next room. It was now four am. Alan knew that sleep was impossible so he decided to find Gordon.

Alan decided that he would head to the gym since Gordon had been working out lately when he couldn't sleep. He detoured by the kitchen and made some hot chocolate. Maybe if he brought a peace offering, Gordon wouldn't walk away from him. Alan was mildly surprised to find the gym empty. He headed to the lounge. It was time to play "find Gordon". He planned on using Gordon's comm-watch to trace him.

Alan turned on the monitor on his father's desk and called up the tracer, concentrating on Tracy Island. The orange dot indicating Gordon's watch indicated that Gordon was in his room. Alan frowned. He knew that Gordon was not in his room earlier, but it was possible that Gordon had returned to his room while Alan was in the kitchen or gym.

Alan knocked softly on Gordon's door. He still didn't hear anything from inside Gordon's room. He opened the door and whispered. "Gordon, are you in here?" Alan crept into the room trying to be as quiet as possible. If Gordon was in the room sleeping, Alan certainly did not want to wake him up. By the moonlight shining through the windows, Alan could see that the room was empty. An object on the desk captured his attention. He set the thermos and mugs down on the desk. He picked up Gordon's watch. Dad would go ballistic if he knew that Gordon had left it behind. Alan put the watch in his pocket while thinking, "Ok Gordon, you may have upped the challenge, but I am just as determined to find you as you are to hide from me."

Alan began searching the house. He even double-checked the gym just too be sure that Gordon hadn't gone there after he had left. Alan was growing discouraged by the time that he returned to the lounge. He sat at his father's desk. He contemplated calling John to see if he could track Gordon without his watch. He decided against it. John kept the same day/night schedule as on the island so he should be asleep. Also he may insist on waking up Dad and his brothers, which would only complicate the situation.

Alan thought about the lagoon. Sure it was still dark out but the path was well traveled. With a strong flashlight, Gordon could have easily traversed it. "Well, only one way to find out." Alan thought to himself as he headed to the utility closet to get a flashlight for himself. It took Alan almost thirty minutes to reach the lagoon. The beach was empty with no sign that anyone had been there in the last few hours. Alan hoped that Gordon hadn't done something stupid and was somewhere under the surface of the water.

There was only one more place that Alan could think to look. "I don't know why I didn't check there first." He told himself. "Sure I do, he hasn't gone there since the rescue." Alan turned and headed back to the house. He really hoped that this time his hunch would pay off.

When Alan entered Thunderbird Two's hanger, he immediately noticed that the door to Pod Four was open. He looked in the pod and breathed a sigh of relief. After two hours of hunting, he finally found the object of his search, his brother.

Gordon was sitting on the floor across from Thunderbird Four leaning against the pod wall. Gordon spotted Alan standing next to the open pod door. "Hey there Alan, come on in." Gordon invited in a slightly slurred voice. "Wanna drink?" He asked holding up a partially empty bottle of whiskey.

"No, not right now." Alan said. "It is a little too early in the morning for a drink. Here put your watch back on." Alan pushed Gordon's watch into his hand.

"No such thing little brudder." Gordon grinned saucily.

Alan was relieved to see that Gordon was attempting to put his watch on. He seemed to be having trouble doing that while holding the whiskey, so Alan took the bottle from him. Holding it up, he asked, "How much of this did you drink?"

"Not enough." Gordon said trying to get the bottle back from Alan. "Gimme that."

"No, I don't think so. I think that you should go to bed and sleep it off."

"God, there you go again, telling me what to do." Gordon said as he forced himself to his feet. "Just leave me alone."

"Gordon, please don't quit. I don't want you to leave. I would miss you too much." Alan said hoping to calm Gordon down by changing topics. He got to his feet. "Please let me help you to your room. You need to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep." Gordon said with anger creeping back into his voice. "If I go to sleep, I will have the nightmares again. I can't keep reliving those memories."

"Nightmares?" Alan asked. "I didn't know that you were having nightmares. Maybe if Brains gives you a sleeping pill, it would help."

"Nope, been there, done that."

Alan was puzzled. "Do you mean that Brains already gave you pills to try?"

"He dinn't give them to me. I took them."

"When did you take them?" Alan asked looking down at the whiskey bottle.

Gordon had to think for a moment. "Uhm…lessee…the last three nights."

"Gordon, did you take any pills tonight?" Alan hoped that the answer would be no, but he knew that it would be yes.

"They didn't work. I couldn't fall asleep even after taking more." Gordon seemed so tired as he leaned against Thunderbird Four.

Alan was getting scared. "Gordon, how many pills did you take tonight?"

Gordon stared at Alan. "Uh, I'm not sure. Four? Maybe five? It doesn't matter. I am telling you. They didn't work. Gimme a drink."

"Gordon, this is really important." Alan said holding the bottle away from Gordon. "Did you start drinking before you took the pills or after?"

Gordon was starting to get mad. "God dammit Alan, you are really getting on my nerves."

"Come on Gordon, answer my question."

"I don't remember." Gordon yelled. "Now leave me alone."

Alan softened his voice needing to calm Gordon down. "Gordon, we need to get you down to the sickroom. You've been drinking on top of sleeping pills. That can be a deadly combination."

Gordon didn't move. Alan wasn't even sure that Gordon was listening. Alan reached out and touched his arm. Alan was not prepared for Gordon's reaction.

Gordon whipped around and grabbed Alan's arms in a vise-like grip. With adrenaline coursing through his veins, he began shaking Alan and screaming. "I told you to leave me alone. I don't need help. I don't want your help. You don't understand. You can't. What will it take to get through to you? Just leave me alone!" Gordon punctuated his words with violent shakes to Alan.

Alan tried to gain a sense of balance, but he couldn't seem to break his brother's hold on him. The whiskey bottle fell from his hand. He knew that he had to get away from Gordon. He had never seen his brother this angry. The look on Gordon's face scared Alan. He could hear Gordon yelling while shaking him. Things seemed to be moving in slow motion. The last thing that he remembered was hearing Gordon yell, "Just leave me alone!"

With one final shake, Gordon pushed Alan away from him as hard as he could. As soon as he let go of Alan, he turned and stormed out of the pod. He was so intent on getting away that he never heard the thud as his brother's head connected with the side airlock on Thunderbird Four or when his brother hit the side fin before hitting the floor. Gordon just left the hanger without ever looking back. He left without knowing that his brother laid next to Thunderbird Four unconscious with a pool of blood slowly forming under his head.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Here it is folks. Now you know what Gordon did to Alan. We hope it was worth the wait.

**AngelMouse5, numbah 14, Vorserkeien** – Thank you for your encouraging reviews. We are glad that you are enjoying it.

**Darkangel2005** – We are glad that you are enjoying the story. Personal from Convert – I remember those sessions. I find this writing much more enjoyable.


	11. A Brother Is Found

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Eleven – A Brother Is Found 

It was shortly after 7 am when Virgil and Scott entered Thunderbird 2's hanger.

"Scott, I want to thank you for helping me." Virgil said.

"Didn't you run the post flight check when we got back yesterday?" Asked Scott.

"Of course I did," replied Virgil indignantly. "It is SOP. I can't explain it, Scott. But when I woke up this morning, I just had this feeling that I should check things out again."

"Well, better safe than sorry." Scott started to laugh but stopped. "Hey Virg, did you leave Pod 4 open for some reason?"

Virgil looked at the open pod door. "No Scott, we didn't use Pod 4 yesterday. The last time I was in there was probably a week ago. Maybe Gordon was down here."

"I doubt it." Scott said with a snort. "He has been avoiding all the 'birds, just like he has been avoiding us."

When the brothers reached the open pod door, they were horrified at the sight that greeted them. Alan lay unmoving on his side on the pod floor next to Thunderbird 4.

"O my God, Alan!" Scott yelled. "Virgil, call Brains. Alan, Alan, can you hear me?"

Virgil called Brains on his watch. "Brains, where are you?"

"I-I-I'm in the lab, V-V-Virgil." Came Brains' reply.

"Get an emergency kit and stretcher down to Pod 4. Hurry. Alan has been hurt."

Scott was still trying to get a response from Alan. He was holding a gauze pad from the first aid kit to the back of Alan's head. "Alan, come on. It's Scott. Please you need to wake up and talk to me. Alan, Alan, come on."

Virgil could hear the panic in Scott's voice. "How is he, Scott?"

"Well, his pulse is steady. So is his breathing. He is bleeding from a head wound. I don't want to move him around too much until Brains gets here. He is coming, right?"

"Yeah, he should be here in a few minutes. What about Dad?" Should I call him?"

"Go ahead and call him. He would want to know ASAP."

Virgil stepped away from Scott and Alan to call his dad. When he had established a link with his dad, he plunged right in. "Dad, you had better get down here to Pod 4. Alan has been hurt."

"What!" Jeff thundered. "Hurt? How bad? Do you know what happened?"

"No, Dad, Scott and I found him unconscious in the pod." Virgil turned when he heard a noise at the door. "Dad, Brains just got here. I'm going to help him."

"I'm on my down." Jeff said as he closed the link.

Virgil stepped back to Alan's side. "What can I do, Brains?"

"W-Well, once I g-g-get the n-n-neck b-brace on him, w-we n-n-need to g-get him on the b-b-back b-board." His stutter was even more pronounced as he fought with his emotions. "W-We n-need to g-get him b-b-back to the s-s-sickroom so that I c-c-can examine h-him f-f-further."

Virgil and Scott got Alan onto the backboard and were on their way to the elevator when they ran into Jeff.

"How is he, Brains?" Jeff wanted to know.

"I w-w-will give you a r-r-report a-after I d-do a d-d-detailed s-scan in the s-s-sickroom." Brains answered.

"Ok, let's get him there." Jeff ordered.

* * *

Jeff, Scott and Virgil huddled together at the back of the sickroom while Brains examined Alan.

"Ok," Jeff said. "Any ideas on how this happened?"

"Not really, hopefully when Alan wakes up, he can explain what happened." Virgil said.

"I'm sure that you both noticed that Alan reeked of whiskey. I noticed an almost empty bottle next to Thunderbird 4's port fin. It is possible that he fell or something because he was drunk." Scott stated.

"Well, let's reserve judgment until we get a chance to talk to Alan." Jeff said.

"M-Mr. T-Tracy" Brains interrupted. "We can r-r-remove the c-collar and b-backboard now."

"What have you found?" Asked Scott as he moved to help Brains.

"He has a l-laceration on the b-b-back of his h-head. He also has a m-mild c-concussion. He has a d-d-dislocated shoulder and a b-broken wrist." Brains said.

"Any idea of how long he was lying there?" Asked Virgil.

"I c-can't say for s-sure. M-Maybe an hour or an h-hour and a h-half."

Scott looked at Virgil. "It's a good thing that you had that feeling to come check things out."

"Yeah," Virgil started to say, but he stopped when he heard a soft moan from the bed.

Scott was the first one by Alan's bedside. "Alan, can you hear me? Come on Alan, wake up please."

"No, Gordon," Alan moaned. "Let me go. Please, you are hurting me, Gordon."

The three Tracys were dumbfounded.

"Alan, Alan," Jeff said. "I need you to wake up."

Alan slowly opened his eyes. "Dad," his voice was soft and pain-filled. "Where is Gordon?"

"I don't know, son. Did he do this to you?"

"He was so angry, Dad. I've never seen him like that before. I just wanted to help him." Alan's voiced drifted off to a whisper as his eyes slid closed.

Scott clenched his hands into fists. "I am going to kill him."

"Wait a minute, Scott." Jeff ordered. "We still don't know what happened. Alan is in a lot of pain right now. He is probably confused.

"I don't know, Dad. He sounded pretty clear. Gordon was angry and he took it out on Alan." Scott said angrily.

"Does anyone know where Gordon is right now?" Jeff asked.

"No and right now I don't give a damn." Scott said angrily.

Jeff knew that he needed to take a step back before he and Scott ended up in a fight. Motioning Virgil toward the door, Jeff told him. "I am going to call John and try to find Gordon. Keep an eye on Scott, ok."

"Sure, Dad." Virgil answered.

* * *

Jeff sat at his desk trying to reign in his emotions. He tried to reach Gordon on his watch but did not get an answer. He couldn't help but wonder, "How did things get so far out of hand?"

"Base to Thunderbird Five," Jeff said establishing contact with John.

"Hi Dad," John answered cheerily. The smile on his face faded when he looked at his dad. "What's wrong?"

"Alan's hurt."

"Alan?" John was confused. He thought something had happened to Gordon. To find out that Alan was hurt didn't make sense. "What happened? Is he ok?"

"Yes, he will be fine. Brains said that he has a concussion, broken wrist and dislocated shoulder." Jeff said. "Look John, I need to find Gordon. Can you track him?"

"I show his comm-link is at the lagoon." John said.

"I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. Can you tell if he is actually wearing his watch?"

"Hold on Dad." John pushed a few buttons. "Yes, he is. I am reading his bio-signs."

"Ok, John, can you try to call him? Maybe he will answer you." Jeff suggested.

"F-A-B, Dad. I will call you right back." John said as he closed the link.

Gordon's watch beeped. He ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He was really feeling out of it. He had hoped to sleep off his drunken stupor, but that hadn't happened. Somehow after his fight with Alan, he had made his way down to the lagoon. He really felt lousy. His stomach was twisting into knots. He had already thrown up twice. He should have known better than to drink on an empty stomach. Trying to run from the villa wasn't particularly smart either. Which shouldn't be too surprising. He hadn't done many smart things in the last few weeks. He lay on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes to block out the sun that had now risen.

His watched beeped again. He tried to ignore it again, but after a few seconds, John's voice broke the silence.

"Gordon, It's John. I have to talk to you. There is an emergency at the villa. Gordon!" John was yelling now.

"Yeah right." Gordon thought. "This is just a trick to get me back to the house. By now, I am sure that Alan has told Dad about my drinking party last night."

"Gordon, answer me right now." John commanded.

Gordon brought his watch to in front of his face. "Alright John, I'm here. What is the big emergency?"

John couldn't believe how pale and exhausted Gordon looked. "Gordon, Alan is hurt. He is in the sickroom."

"Alan," Gordon said alarmed. He winced as he sat up. "What happened?"

"I don't have all the particulars. Dad just said to call you and let you know."

"Ok John, I am on my way back to the house." Gordon said as he got to unsteady feet.

Ok Gordon, I will let Dad know." John said as he closed the link.

Most of the night was a blur for Gordon. He knew that he had been drinking. He also knew without being told that he was somehow responsible for Alan being hurt. His gut was twisting again, but this time with guilt. He had to get back there for Alan. He began to run.

_End Flashback_

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Boy, are Scott and Virgil mad. Now the question is: How to heal this family?

**throwra-angel** – Yes, it is definitely going to take a while for Gordon to get over it…if he does.

**numbah 14** – We're glad you like it. Grumpy has named her muse "Gordon" because most of the ideas do seem to come from his point of view.

**Darkangel2005** – Next up, the emotions of the family members who are trying to deal with all this.

**Audra** – What have you got against poor Alan? There will be more injuries but we are not saying who.

**barb from utah** – Thanks for the great review. We had our concerns about the realism of emotion.

**AngelMouse5** – Thanks for the review and the invitation. Wow, it really made us feel good that you like it so much. When it is complete we'll need to get it set up on "The Lair."

**Vorserkeien** - A lot of people felt that way.


	12. The Brothers Informed

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Twelve – The Brothers Informed 

The sickroom was heavy with emotion. Gordon buried his head in John's shoulder crying uncontrollably. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. What have I done? Oh God, I am sorry."

John held Gordon in his arms. He was trying to calm Gordon down by rocking him gently and talking softly to him through his own tears. "It's ok, Gordon. Let it out. I'm here for you. You did good. Just let all that hurt out."

Alan left his bed and wrapped his arm around Gordon. Leaning his head against Gordon's back, Alan joined in the rocking motion. He also tried to calm Gordon. "Please Gordon. Please don't blame yourself. I want to help you. Please let me help. I love you, Gordon." Seeing his brother in so much pain, Alan could not keep his own tears from falling.

Virgil sat in his chair. He desperately wanted to comfort his younger brother but he found himself at a loss of what to do. John and Alan had basically enveloped Gordon between them while whispering words of comfort. The high intensity of emotion in the room brought tears to his own eyes. So he was surprised when he looked at Scott.

Scott sat in his chair stoically. He seemed detached from what was happening in the room. In fact Scott looked angry. He was looking everywhere around the room, but at the drama being played out on his brother's bed. He never did handle emotional outbursts well. Usually, he let John or Virgil handle emotional victims, but now it was his own brothers that were emotional. He really wanted to leave but he figured that his dad would not be happy if he did.

Jeff moved to stand beside his son's bed. He was battling his own tears. He placed one hand on Gordon's shoulder and softly smoothed Gordon's hair with the other hand. He didn't say anything. He just stood there giving his support as his son poured out his grief and pain through his tears.

When Gordon's tears finally subsided, Alan and John released Gordon. He laid back against his pillow emotionally spent. He waited for his family to say something. He had feared their disapproval for weeks, but as he looked around the room, he could see that he had been selling his family short. John and Alan had been openly crying with him. He could still see the unshed tears in his dad's and Virgil's eyes. Only Scott seemed to still be angry. Gordon really couldn't blame him, especially after what he did to Alan. Scott had appointed himself Alan's protector when their mother died and he still tried to protect him as much as possible even though they are both now adults.

Jeff took Gordon's hand. He was searching for the words he needed. He needed to explain. He had kept his secret hidden for too long. Maybe if he had explained it earlier, Gordon would have been willing to talk about things.

"Gordon, sons, I am going to tell you something. I've been keeping a secret from you. It is hard for me to talk about it. So please let me say this without interrupting. I will answer any of your questions when I am done. Alright?"

Jeff looked around at his sons who all looked confused, but they nodded their heads. "Ok, good," he said. "Gordon, you got really upset the other day when I asked you to talk to Dr. Shipman." Gordon's eyes clouded over, but he didn't interrupt. "You left before I had the chance to explain. He is not an International Rescue operative." Jeff hesitated for a second. "The reason that Dr. Shipman knows about International Rescue is because he is my therapist."

The room was deathly quiet as the brothers tried to comprehend what their Dad had just told them. They couldn't believe it. The great Jefferson Tracy just couldn't be seeing a psychologist. He runs his own business. He heads up International Rescue. He is always in control. It just didn't make sense.

Virgil was the first to gather his thoughts. "Dad, how can you be seeing Dr. Shipman? You hardly ever leave the Island?"

"We do our sessions by a secure vid-phone." Jeff answered.

"How can you be sure that it is secure?" John asked.

"Because it is one of our communication units. I set it up personally. It only goes through Thunderbird 5's communication arrays. The unit here at the house will only connect to Dr. Shipman's unit and vise-versa. If anyone tries to hack into it, an alarm sounds." Jeff explained.

"Why?" Scott quietly asked the question that was in everybody's mind.

"Excuse me, Scott. What did you say?" Jeff asked, not hearing his son's question clearly.

"I asked why. Why do you need a therapist? You are the most in control person I know. What possibly could have happened that made you seek help?" Scott said.

"International Rescue happened, Scott. I spent years dreaming of it and designing the equipment. I was so proud when we went into operation. We had successful rescues, and the world was singing our praises. It felt good. My dreams were paying off. Then the incident with the Sunprobe happened. I almost lost you and Alan not to mention Tin-Tin. I seriously contemplated shutting down International Rescue right then. It sickened me to think that I could lose any of my sons any time that they were called out to a rescue. When I lost your mother, I thought nothing could be worse. Life, though, showed me that losing my sons would be worse than anything I have ever experienced. I love all of you boys more than anything. Maybe I don't tell you enough, but it's the truth."

"Dr. Shipman has helped me work through these fears. I keep regular monthly appointments with him and I also have 'emergency' sessions when I am feeling overwhelmed. International Rescue would not be in operation today if I didn't have Dr. Shipman to talk to. It is important for all of you to understand that there is no shame in asking for help even with our emotions. We are only human. I am sorry that I gave you the wrong impression."

"I have been talking to him about what has been happening. He has cleared his schedule for the next week. I am going to bring him to the island where he has agreed to talk to anyone who wants to meet with him. It is not an order. This has to be your choice, although, I will encourage all of you to take advantage of the opportunity. I can tell you from personal experience that it helps. Also, I want to assure you that if you do talk to Dr. Shipman, anything you say will be in strict confidence. He would never break that confidence. I want you to feel free to talk about anything without fear of repercussion."

"On a separate subject, I've decided to leave Thunderbird Five on automatic for a while. We are going to be short-handed down here with Alan and Gordon both being on the injured list."

"But Dad…" Gordon started to argue.

"No Gordon," Jeff said. "You are on the injured list until Brains says that you are back to one hundred percent."

Silence reigned again in the room. Jeff looked at each of his sons. They all seemed to be in a state of shock.

"Are there any other questions? Or anything that you want to say?" Jeff asked.

Scott got up and left the room. He couldn't stand it anymore. The more he tried to figure out what was happening in his family, the more things seemed to be spinning out of control. This bombshell that his dad had just dropped was the last straw. He needed some time alone.

"I'll take that as a 'no' on his part for right now." Jeff said. "How about the rest of you?"

The four remaining brothers looked at each other, but it was John who spoke. Shaking his head no, he said. "I think right now we are kind of in a state of shock. Maybe we will have questions later."

"Ok, my door is open at anytime." Jeff replied. "I am going to fly over to the states and get Dr. Shipman. Think about what I said. I love you boys." He hugged his four sons before he left the room.

"Oh my God," Alan said after his dad left. "Am I the only one who feels like the world just turned upside down?"

"No, Alan." Virgil answered. "I think that it is going to take awhile to understand all this. Although it does make me feel better to know that our safety is so important to him."

John noticed that Gordon seemed to be tired. "Yeah, I know what you mean, Virg. Why don't we go talk about this somewhere else." John crooked his head toward Gordon hoping that his brothers would also notice. They did and nodded to let John know that they understood.

"Hey Gordon, you look like you could use some sleep. So we are going to leave." John said, but he was still concerned about how Gordon was handling all this. "Gordon, look at me. Are you ok?"

"Yeah John, it's just been a very emotional day. My mind is just spinning. I'm not sure that I could sleep right now." Gordon admitted.

"Do you want Brains to give you a sedative?" John asked.

"I think that would help. Thanks, John."

John stayed in the sickroom until Gordon fell asleep. He then joined Virgil and Alan, who had been finally released from the sickroom. They sat in the lounge silently, each one trying to reconcile their own thoughts and feelings. Emotionally drained, they fell asleep and that is how Scott found them an hour later.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Here we go. Two chapters in one night. The next chapter should be up sometime tomorrow. Hope to catch you then.


	13. A Brother Runs

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Thirteen – A Brother Runs 

It was 8:30 in the evening when the four Tracy brothers met in the kitchen for a late dinner.

"Has anyone heard from Dad?" Virgil asked. "Shouldn't he be back by now?"

"He called a little while ago." Scott said. "Apparently a massive storm front has settled over Santa Rosa, CA. So he and Dr. Shipman will have to wait until tomorrow morning to fly back to the Island."

The alarm sounded and the four boys took off running to the lounge. Scott sat in his father's chair while John looked over his shoulder at the information being relayed from Thunderbird 5. John's practiced mind assimilated the information quickly.

"There has been a major earthquake near Cusco, Peru." John said. "It sounds pretty nasty. Buildings have collapsed. Fires are springing up in the danger zone. The local authorities are trying to get a count of the missing, but they are having major communication problems for obvious reasons. They will update the information as they get it."

"Ok, we are going to need all the hands we can get for this one." Scott said taking command. "Virgil, John, we are going to need the firefly, the mole, and the excavator. I'll have Brains meet you in the silo. Alan, you will need to man the desk. Let me know as soon as you get any updates."

In the sickroom, Gordon woke up when he heard the alarm. He pretended to be asleep when he heard Brains cross from the office to the side of his bed before heading out the door. Gordon sat up and pulled the IV from his arm. If they needed Brains for this rescue, it must be big. This may be his only chance and he wasn't about to lose it. As he left the sickroom he could hear Thunderbird 2 take off. He knew what he had to do as he headed down the hall.

* * *

A short time later, Alan was sitting at the desk. He was dreading making this call to Scott, but it had to be done.

"Base to Thunderbird 1. Come in, Scott."

"Thunderbird 1 to Base. Go ahead, Alan."

"Scott, I just finished talking to the authorities in Lima. It appears that the rescue call is a fake."

"What? Are you sure?" Scott demanded.

"Yeah Scott, when I didn't hear back from the local authorities, I called them. They had no idea what I was talking about. I also contacted the International Geological Institute. They have no record of any seismic activity in Peru. I'm sorry, Scott, but everything is pointing to a fake call."

"God dammit. Whoever did it knew what they were doing. They gave us enough information to sound plausible. Try to trace the original call. We need to track this person down and keep them from doing it again. I'll let Virgil know. Thunderbird 1 returning to base." Scott said as he ended the call.

Alan set up the tracking program, but it would take a while to work, if it worked at all. He also knew that it would be at least a half hour before any of his brothers would return. He felt a need to go visit Gordon. When he got to the sickroom, however, he found it empty.

"All right Gordon," Alan thought. "I guess we are back to playing 'find Gordon.'" I promise you that it won't take me as long this time."

Alan left the sickroom and headed down to Thunderbird 2's silo. Sure enough the door to Pod 4 was open. Gordon had to be in there. When Alan entered Pod 4, he closed the door behind him. He wanted to slow Gordon down if he tried to run.

"Gordon, are you in here?" Alan called out.

Gordon winced when he heard Alan's voice. He was caught. Maybe he could talk his way around Alan and still make his escape. He left his goodbye letter on the pilot's seat and headed to the door.

Gordon plastered a smile on his face as he climbed from Thunderbird 4. "What's up, Alan? I thought that you would be up in the lounge helping with the rescue."

"I was." Alan said as he spotted Gordon's packed duffle bag. "But it turned out to be a false alarm. The rest of the guys are on their way back." Pointing to the duffle bag, he continued. "Planning on going somewhere?"

Gordon knew that he'd been caught. Alan knew him too well. "Well, uhm, yeah. You see..."

Alan cut him off. "You were running away. I can't believe you. You weren't even going to say goodbye? Not even to me? I thought I meant more than this to you."

Gordon could hear the pain in his brother's voice. "I'm sorry Alan. I am just so confused right now. I need some time to clear my head."

"But Gordon, that's why Dad is bringing Dr. Shipman out here. You're not even giving it a chance."

Gordon sat down with his back resting against Thunderbird 4. He was still feeling the after-effects of the sedative. "I am so tired Alan. I just wish I knew what to do."

"Talk to me. I want to help." Alan said, as he sat next to Gordon. "If you don't feel like you can talk to me, at least stay and talk to Dr. Shipman. After all, it is his job. Dad says that he is really good."

"There is a part of me that wants to tell you everything. I really do." Gordon tried to explain. "But there is a part of me that is so afraid. I have never been this scared, not even after the hydrofoil accident. How can I explain my feelings when I don't even understand them myself?"

Alan put his arm around Gordon and pulled him into a protective embrace. "I won't pretend to know what you are going through but I've always heard that talking it out can help. Maybe it would help if you expressed your feelings even if you don't understand them. I am willing to listen if you want to try."

Gordon's arms encircled Alan as he returned his brother's embrace. "I feel like I am caught in a vicious circle of fear. When I heard Jennifer say that she couldn't feel her legs, I was afraid that moving her caused it. The fears, that I had after my own accident, resurfaced. I knew what she was going through. Would she hate me? Then I was afraid of how you guys would react. I was afraid that you would not trust me on rescues anymore. The more I tried to work through things; the more scared I became. I am scared of being scared. These fears are taking away everything that means anything to me, my job, my family."

"Wait a minute." Alan interrupted." You haven't lost your job and especially not your family. There is nothing that you could do that would cause you to lose us. Once a Tracy; always a Tracy. Face it, Gordon, you are stuck with us."

"That is where you are wrong Alan." Gordon said in a sad voice. "There is one thing that could, and I did it. I hurt one of my brothers."

"That was an accident. I don't blame you." Alan argued. "You weren't yourself. You had been drinking…"

"That only makes it worse." Gordon broke in. "I should never have started drinking that night, especially not on top of the sleeping pills. Face it, the choices that I have made this last month have left a lot to be desired."

"We have all made errors in judgment." Alan said. "You are our brother. I promise you. Nobody is holding this against you."

Gordon sighed. "Scott does. He refuses to even acknowledge me. I know he hates me."

"Let's make a deal." Alan said. "You stay on the Island and talk to Dr. Shipman and I'll talk to that know-it-all older brother of ours."

"You've got a deal. Besides I'm too tired to leave the Island tonight." Gordon said closing his eyes. "Alan thanks for listening to me and not judging me. Your support means a lot to me."

"Anything for you Gordon. I love you." Alan said. Gordon did not hear him though as he had fallen asleep in his brother's embrace. Alan knew that his other brothers would be returning soon, but he didn't care. He had finally broken through the emotional barrier that Gordon had built up. He was not going to leave now. It was only a matter of minutes before Alan was asleep also.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Will Alan convince Gordon to stay? Will Scott drive him away? How will the rest of the family deal with all this? Next chapter will be up soon.

**Darkangel2005** – We are glad that you are enjoying it. As far as needing tissues, you should have seen us as we wrote it. It brought tears to our eyes, and we know how it ends. As far as Jeff and the shrink – you don't always know what goes on behind closed doors.

**Audra** – Be patient. It will still be awhile before Gordon and Alan are ok.

**barb from utah** – Glad you like it. Just remember how stubborn Scott is. Do you think the doctor can handle him?

**fellowriverrat** – We are glad that you find it realistic. You never know what drives a person into therapy. As far as Scott being the idiot child, we prefer to think of him as the over-protective big brother. Granted his protectiveness of Alan comes at Gordon's expense. Oh well, blame the muse.

**numbah 14** – Wasn't that a great twist? Actually we thought that people would get upset at that so we are glad that the review so far have been positive.

**Vorserkeien** – Thank you for your faithful reviews. We are glad that you are anxious for more.


	14. The Brothers Search

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Fourteen – The Brothers Search 

Scott was getting angry. Alan had not responded when he had called for landing clearance. He used Thunderbird 1's scanners to make sure that the area was clear of air traffic. When he entered the lounge after landing, he was not surprised to find it empty. He could see that Alan had set up the tracking program, but it was still running. Scott flipped the switch to connect him to Alan's watch comm. "Scott calling…" Scott stopped when he heard his own voice coming from the desk. He moved a few papers and found Alan's watch. "Alan, when I…"

Scott's thoughts were interrupted when Virgil calling in. "Thunderbird 2 to Base, requesting landing clearance."

Scott checked the monitor. "F-A-B, Virgil, you are cleared to land. And Virgil, tell Brains that when he finds Alan visiting Gordon to tell him to get his butt back to the lounge. Rescues aren't officially over until all the 'Birds are home. He should know better than to leave before we returned."

"F-A-B, Scott." Virgil said. Turning to Brains, "Did you hear that?" Brains nodded. Virgil gave Brains a wry smile. "I sure wouldn't want to be in Alan's shoes right now."

"N-Neither would I." Brains replied.

Scott stared disgustingly at the vid-screen. The tracking program had only narrowed the area that the call came from to a three square mile area outside of Cusco. Maybe John could figure out a way to narrow the area down even more. John entered the lounge at the same time Virgil called Scott from the sickroom.

"Scott, we may have a problem. Neither Alan or Gordon are in the sickroom."

"What?" Scott exploded. "Where the hell are they?"

"I don't know Scott. When Brains and I got to the sickroom, it was empty." Virgil said defensively. "Gordon's IV was pulled out. I don't know if he did it himself, or if someone else did."

John had moved behind Scott. "What are you saying Virgil?" He asked.

"Think about it, John." Virgil said. "We get a false rescue call. Now Alan and Gordon are missing. Hey, has anyone seen Kyrano?"

"He was in the kitchen when I walked through." John said.

"Well, even though Kyrano is still here," Virgil continued. "We need to consider the possibility that the fake call was a ruse so someone could sneak onto the island. Kidnapping could have been their motive, or maybe robbery was their idea and Alan and Gordon could have just gotten in their way."

"Or it could just be coincidence." Scott broke in. "Let's make sure that they are really gone before we give into paranoia."

"Virgil," John said, flipping a few switches on the monitor. "I am reading Gordon's comm.-watch in his room. Why don't you check it out? Maybe he convinced Alan that he was well enough to leave the sickroom."

"Sure John, I will let you know what I find." Virgil said as he disconnected the comm.

John looked at Scott. "You don't think that Virgil could be right, do you?"

"No, I don't think that an outsider has anything to do with this." Scott answered. "I think that it involves Gordon."

"Just what are you implying?" John said angrily. He knew exactly what Scott was implying but he wasn't going to let Scott off the hook.

"Oh come on, John." Scott said, matching John's angry tone. "Three days ago Gordon left Alan bleeding and unconscious after a fight. If I find out that he hurt Alan again, I am going to make him wish that he was never born."

"That was an accident, and you know that, Scott." John would have continued, but Virgil called at that particular moment.

"Scott, I'm in Gordon's room. I found his watch on the desk. But neither he nor Alan are here." Virgil reported.

"Ok, Virgil, let's make a search of the grounds. I want you to go to the hanger and make sure all the planes are accounted for. John, you go to the boathouse and check out the boats. I'll search the house." Scott said, going into commander mode. "Call me if you find them. If not we will meet in the lounge in thirty minutes."

"F-A-B," Virgil said, disconnecting the vid-link.

"I wish that I had access to Thunderbird 5's thermal scanners. Then we would know where to look." John said as he headed out the door. "Maybe Brains and I could find a way to set up a link down here." Whatever else John said was lost to Scott, as John got farther away from the lounge.

Scott got up from the desk and headed to the kitchen to talk to Kyrano. "Kyrano, have you seen Alan or Gordon since we left for the rescue?"

"I have not seen Mister Gordon." Kyrano replied respectfully. "But I did offer Mister Alan coffee while you were away. He was in the lounge."

"Did you see or hear anything unusual while we were gone?" Scott asked.

"No Mister Scott. I am unaware of any usual occurrence. Is there a problem?" Kyrano asked.

"Alan and Gordon seem to be missing." Scott answered. "I'm sure that they are around here somewhere. If you happen to see them, keep them here and call me please."

"I will, Mister Scott." Kyrano said with a bow.

Scott checked Alan's bedroom and found it empty. He even rechecked Gordon's room just in case he had returned to it after Virgil left. The gym and the game room were also empty. It was close to the time to meet John and Virgil. So Scott headed back to the lounge. Both brothers were waiting for him when he arrived.

"Well?" Scott asked.

John was the first to answer. "All the boats are accounted for. There was no sign of Alan or Gordon."

"Same in the hanger. All the planes are there except Tracy One which Dad has." Virgil said.

"Ok, they didn't leave the island using one of our crafts." Scott said. "They are not in their bedrooms, the game room, the gym, or the sickroom. The last time Kyrano saw Alan, he was here in the lounge. So that leaves the silos, the round house, and the grounds. I really don't want to have to search the grounds in the dark if we don't have to. You two go search Thunderbird 1 and 2's silos. Just because we didn't see them when we returned doesn't mean that they weren't there. I'll go check the round house and Thunderbird 3's silo. Call if you find anything." After giving the instructions, Scott left the lounge.

Virgil looked at John. "I'm going to head to Thunderbird 2's silo. Why don't you check out Thunderbird 1?"

"Sure thing, Virg. I'll meet up with you in Thunderbird 2's silo if I don't find anything." John said.

When Virgil reached Thunderbird 2's silo, he smiled to himself despite the situation. The sight of his 'Bird always sent a thrill through him. He knew that his brothers felt the same way about their own 'Birds. "Of course, Pod 4." He thought to himself. "If Gordon isn't with Thunderbird 4, I'll eat my hat."

Virgil practically ran to Pod 4. When the door opened, he felt weak with relief. There were his brothers safe and sound. They were wrapped in each other's arms, leaning against Thunderbird 4 sleeping soundly. It reminded him of when they were young, and Alan would have a nightmare. Gordon would hold him and eventually Alan would fall asleep in his protective embrace.

John was about to enter Thunderbird 1 using the portable lift. So far his search had revealed nothing. He couldn't think of a reason why either brother would be hiding inside Thunderbird 1, but he wasn't going to leave this stone unturned. He watch began to beep.

It was Virgil. "I've found them, John. They are in Pod 4." He said smiling.

"That's great news, Virg. I'll be there as soon as I can." John answered, feeling relief wash over him.

Scott was at the round house. The house seemed empty, but Scott looked in each room just to make sure. Scott's watched beeped.

"Hey Scott, I found them in Pod 4." Virgil informed him.

"Is Alan all right? Have they been there the whole time? What do they have to say for themselves?" Scott began asking Virgil questions.

"Scott…Scott, stop." Virgil commanded. "I haven't asked them any questions because they are sleeping."

"Sleeping?" Scott asked incredulously. "All right Virgil, I'll be right there."

By the time Scott got back to Thunderbird 2's silo, John was already there with Virgil. He could hear them talking.

"It reminds me of when they were little." John said.

"Yeah, me too. Gordon was always protective of him." Virgil said.

"We all were." John reminded him. "It comes with being the baby of the family."

Scott took in the scene before him. He saw his two brothers drawing comfort from each other even in their sleep. It should have been heart-warming to Scott, but it wasn't. It enraged him.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Nasty Scott is back. How bad will he get before someone knocks him down? Find out soon.


	15. A Brother's Loyalty

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Fifteen – A Brother's Loyalty 

When Scott saw Alan in Gordon's arms, he exploded. Before John or Virgil had a chance to react, Scott had crossed to where Gordon and Alan were. He grabbed Gordon by the shirt and pulled him into a standing position.

"Get your filthy hands off him!" Scott yelled at Gordon. "Don't you ever touch him again! Do you hear me! I won't let you hurt him again!"

Virgil and John tried to break up Scott and Gordon.

"Scott, let go of him. What is wrong with you? Scott!" John yelled.

"Come on man, get a grip. Let him go!" Virgil tried to get through to his brother.

Gordon was still trying to get his bearings after being rudely woken up. Scott was yelling at him. His brain was having trouble making sense of what was going on. One sentence broke through the fog that he was in. "I won't let you hurt him again!"

Gordon thought. "Did I hurt Alan again? All I remember is talking to him. He made me promise to stay and talk to Dr. Shipman." He saw Alan try to get up from the floor. Alan seemed to be struggling to get to his feet. John had to help him up. "Oh my God," Gordon's tortured brain thought. "I did hurt him again. I don't remember doing anything. I am losing my mind." Gordon's mind was screaming but he could not seem to get his mouth to work.

Scott shoved Gordon into Virgil's arms. "Take him back to the sickroom and make sure that he stays there. Sedate him, lock him in the closet, tie him to the bed, I don't care what you do but don't let him leave. Just get him out of my sight."

Virgil could see the anguish on Gordon's face, and the fury on Scott's face. He decided that it would be best to separate the two of them. "Come on Gordon," Virgil said in a quiet, comforting voice. "Let's get you out of here while we get things sorted out. It will be ok. I promise."

Gordon just nodded his head and allowed Virgil to lead him out of the pod. He knew that Virgil was trying to comfort him, but he was too upset to accept that comfort.

Meanwhile Alan's sleepy mind was trying to grasp what was happening. There was movement next to him, and then he heard Scott yelling. Alan opened his eyes and saw Scott holding Gordon. "That would have been the movement." He thought. John and Virgil were trying to get him to let go. Alan tried to get to his feet. Having his arm in the sling was throwing him off-balance and making it hard for him to get up from the floor. Suddenly John was there and helped him up. He heard Scott tell Virgil to take Gordon back to the sickroom. Alan had never seen Scott this angry, but it was the utter look of despair on Gordon's face that scared him the most.

After Virgil and Gordon left the pod, Scott put an arm around Alan's shoulder. "It's all right Alan, we found you. I won't let him hurt you." He said.

Alan shoved Scott away. "What the hell are you talking about? Did you say that to him?"

"Alan, I am just trying to protect you." Scott said trying to calm his youngest brother.

"I don't need you to protect me. In case you haven't noticed I am not a little kid anymore. I don't need my big brother to stop the playground bullies." Alan shouts at Scott. "And I especially don't need you to protect me from my own brother."

"Need I remind you," Scott said through gritted teeth. "That it is because of that brother your arm is in that sling. He gave you a concussion. He attacked you for God's sake."

"And why was that Scott?" Alan interrupted. "Maybe it was because he was in so much emotional pain that he couldn't cope with it. Then to top it off, his older brothers, who he thought that he could depend on, were too busy to notice. You are so hell bent on protecting me from Gordon, but where were you when Gordon needed help? Well, Scott? What's your excuse? Come on Scott, I'm listening."

"Don't you dare try to make this my fault!" Scott yelled, his anger getting the better of him. "Gordon is the one who hid out from us. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to talk to me. I can't help him if we won't let me."

"Help him? You haven't even talked to him since the accident." Alan saw Scott roll his eyes. "Yes Scott, it was an accident. We were arguing and our emotions were running high. He didn't realize that I was hurt when he left."

"I have already hear the explanation…" Scott began.

Alan interrupted. "Well, you may have heard but you aren't listening. Gordon was in a fragile emotional state. Hell, he still is, but you are so wrapped up in your anger that you can't see it. He desperately needs your forgiveness. I've forgiven him. Why can't you? He needs you, Scott. He needs your support. He needs to know that you still love him."

Scott stopped short. "Gordon is my brother, Alan. He knows that I love him."

Alan stood face to face with Scott. Anger flashed in his eyes and he did nothing to hide the anger in his voice. "Then explain to me Scott, why did I find Gordon down here two hours ago saying goodbye to his 'Bird. He told me that he had to leave because you hate him. I tried to tell him that he was wrong, but after seeing you jump all over him just now, I'm beginning to think that he is right. Ever since Mom died, you were always there to protect us from the bullies, but now you have become the bully, Scott. Well, this time I am going to protect Gordon. Listen to me and listen good. Until you are able to let this go and make things right with Gordon, just stay the hell away from him." Alan turned and headed to the door.

Scott was in a state of shock. Yes, he was angry with Gordon and it was clouding his judgment, but he didn't hate him. He needed to talk to Alan. "Alan, let me explain…"

"There is nothing to explain, Scott." Alan said in a surprisingly calm but determined voice. "I will tell you one more thing. If Gordon still decides to leave because of you, I will be leaving with him." With that statement, Alan left the pod.

Scott stood there shell-shocked. How did his life get so far out of control? More importantly, how can he fix the mess that he had made? He jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned to find John standing next to him. John had stayed so quiet during the argument with Alan that Scott had forgotten that he was still there.

"He's right you know." John said quietly.

Scott looked at John. "It's late. We need to get some sleep."

John wanted to say more, but he did not want to risk an argument between Scott and himself. John just nodded and headed out of the pod. Maybe things would look better in the morning.

Scott watched John leave. He knew that he should have said more to his brother, but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it. To his brother's retreating back, he whispered. "Yeah John, I know he is right."

TBC 

**Author's note** – Talk about Scott being a beast. Can you believe him? Way to go Alan to stand up to him. Ok folks, here's some bad news. I have been called out of town. (Please don't kill me.) That is one of the reasons that we have been posting more often. I will be back on Sunday the 31st. I promise to post as soon as I get home. The end is in sight I swear, just some more typing to do.


	16. A Brother Feels Guilty

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Sixteen – A Brother Feels Guilty 

At seven in the morning, Scott was at his father's desk. He had spent most of the night, actually early morning, there. He had dozed a few times but had woken up each time hearing Alan's words in his subconscious: "He had to leave because you hate him." Scott had found a letter from Gordon in Thunderbird 4. Even though it was addressed to his dad, he was tempted to open it anyways, but he decided to wait for his dad.

Scott had checked on Gordon earlier. He was not surprised to find Alan sleeping restlessly in the bed next to Gordon. Scott found Brains working in the back office. "How is Gordon, Brains?" Scott asked.

The shocked look on Brains' face served as further proof of what an ass Scott had been the last few days.

"Well, S-S-Scott," Brains said. "Physically he is d-doing b-b-better but I-I'm afraid that he m-m-might relapse after t-t-tonight."

Scott hung his head. "What has he said?"

"T-That's just it." Brains explained. "W-W-With the exception of a-asking for a s-s-sedative, he r-refuses to speak at all."

"He hasn't talked to Alan?" Scott asked. "What about Virgil?"

"It was V-V-Virgil that told m-me about what had h-h-happened in the pod." Brains answered him. "H-He was also the one who t-told me that G-Gordon hasn't spoken s-since you found them in the p-p-pod. Gordon was asleep b-before Alan came into the s-sickroom.

Scott wanted to talk to Gordon, but he was afraid to make matters worse. He decided to talk to his father before approaching his brother. Maybe once his dad read the note, he could give him an idea on how to heal the rift between himself and Gordon.

"Look, Brains," Scott said. "I know that I have made a real mess of things between Gordon and myself. That's one of the reasons that I came down here. I need to heal this rift between us."

"I'm g-g-glad, Scott." Brains told him. "I was getting c-concerned about you. Your anger w-wasn't h-h-healthy for you either."

"Thanks Brains," Scott said. "Do me a favor, please? Don't tell Gordon that I want to talk to him. After the way that I have treated him these last few days, he will probably try to run again."

"I'm not s-sure that Alan w-will give him that chance. I d-d-doubt that he will leave Gordon's s-s-side." Brains replied.

"I would like to have a chance to talk to Dad before I come back, though." Scott continued. "I'm not sure exactly what time he is going to be back. I would really appreciate it if you could make sure that he stays here until I can talk to him."

"S-Sure Scott." Brains agreed. "There are a f-few tests that I still w-would like to run."

"Thanks, Brains. I will see you later." Scott said as he left the sickroom.

* * *

It was nearing 10 am when Scott finally heard his Dad's deep voice coming from the speaker. "Tracy One to Tracy Island. Requesting permission to land."

"Tracy One, you are cleared to land. Welcome home, Dad. I'll meet you in the hanger. I need to talk to you immediately." Scott replied.

"Sure thing, Scott. Have things gotten worse?" Jeff asked.

"I'd rather talk to you face to face, Dad." Scott answered.

"Ok, we'll be down in a few minutes. Meet me in the plane while I run the post-flight checks." Jeff told him.

"I'll be there. See you soon, Dad." Scott said as he disconnected the radio link.

* * *

Scott was heading toward the door when Alan walked into the lounge. The anger that Scott had seen during the early morning confrontation still clouded his face.

"I told you to stay away from Gordon." Alan said through gritted teeth.

"What?" Scott asked, confusion showing on his face.

"I told you to stay away from Gordon." Alan repeated. "Brains said that you were in the sickroom earlier. Don't you think that you have done enough? How bad does Gordon have to feel before you leave him alone? I'm telling…"

"Alan," Scott said interrupting Alan's tirade. "I went to the sickroom to apologize to him."

Now it was Alan's turn to be confused "to do what?" He asked.

Scott sighed. "I wanted to apologize to him for the way I was acting. You were right. I was being a complete jerk. I need to talk to him to clear the air between us and I will. I promise. Dad is landing and I want to get his opinion on how to handle this."

"You promise that you will talk to him and make it right?" Alan asked. "I really don't think that I could stand it if he left."

"I promise you, Alan." Scott said. "Gordon is my brother. I don't want him to leave. I love him. I love all you guys. I am going to do whatever it takes to make things right. OK?"

"I'm holding you to that promise, Scott." Alan said as he turned and left the lounge.

* * *

Jeff was just finishing the post-flight check when Scott entered Tracy One. When Virgil entered the plane right after him, Scott looked at his dad with a puzzled look on his face.

"Good, your both here." Jeff said when he saw his two sons. Gesturing to the man in the co-pilot's seat, he said. "Boys, I want you to meet Dr. Frank Shipman."

"Nice to meet you." Scott said, shaking the doctor's hand.

"Welcome to Tracy Island." Virgil said also shaking hands with the doctor.

"Scott, Virgil, it's nice to meet you both. Please call me Frank." Dr. Shipman said. "I hope that I can get to know each of you better over the next few days."

"Virgil, I would appreciate it if you would give Frank a tour of the villa and then show him to the guest room." Jeff said.

"Sure, I'd be glad to." Virgil said. Turning to Frank, "Let me grab your bags and we'll be on our way."

"I'll talk to you later, Jeff." Frank said. "Ok young man, lead the way. I can't wait to see this wonderful island that I have heard so much about over the last few years." The rest of the conversation was lost as Virgil and Frank left the plane and headed across the hanger.

Scott sat down in the co-pilot's chair. He wasn't sure how to explain to his Dad what was happening. His brothers had noticed his attitude toward Gordon. Had his Father? How was he going to react when he finds out?

Jeff watched as Scott struggled to find the words to explain what was going on. Maybe if he spoke first, it would be easier for Scott. "I assume from what little you said when I called that things have gotten worse. Can you tell me what is going on?"

Scott stared at his hands. "It's all my fault." He said in a quiet voice. "I really messed up big, this time, Dad."

TBC 

**Author's note** – Well, I'm back. I just got back online. Ten days and I'm going through withdrawal (sob). Since I've posted this chapter, I'm going to catch up on all the stories I've missed.

**barb from utah** – Tell us about the emotions. These chapters were hard to write because of that.

**Angelmouse5** – John seems to fall into that peacemaker role easily. Thank you so much for your encouraging reviews.

**numbah 14** – Well, I updated as soon as I got home. Hopefully by the time you get back on the 6th there will be a few chapters waiting for you.

**Vorserkeien** – Hope you enjoyed the new chapter when you got to read it.

**throwra-angel** – Scott is finally coming around but now the question is: How is Gordon going to react?

**andrewjameswilliams** – Welcome. We are glad that you like this story. Reality is getting ready to smack Scott big time.

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** – Well, it wasn't the second I got back. I had to let the computer boot up.

**merryw** – Welcome to our story. Glad you like it. Hopefully the updates will be on a regular basis for a while.


	17. The Brothers Seek Advice

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Seventeen – The Brothers Seek Advice 

"What do you mean, Scott?" Jeff asked.

"Well, after the way I've treated Gordon since the incident, he believes that I hate him. What's more is that Alan caught him trying to leave. He told Alan that he was quitting because of me." Scott explained.

"Quitting? I had hoped that he had said that in the heat of the moment." Jeff said.

"He may have when he first said it. But then when I treated him like I did, he probable figured that it was better to go ahead and quit." Scott said.

"You said that Alan caught him trying to leave. Wasn't he going to say goodbye? How did he get out of the sickroom without Brains noticing? What about the rest of you boys?" Jeff asked.

"We were called out on a rescue. The original intel indicated a huge rescue. We took Brains with us and I had Alan man the desk. The rescue turned out to be a fake call, so Alan caught him before he had a chance to leave. Long story, short, when we found them in Pod 4, I lost my temper and yelled at Gordon. I sent him back to the sickroom. Then Alan and I got in a huge fight. He pointed out what a jerk I had been. He even threatened to quit if Gordon quit. I decided to talk to Gordon, but he was already asleep when I got to the sickroom. I found this letter addressed to you in Thunderbird 4." Scott held out the letter to his father. "Since you were getting back this morning, I decided to get your advise before apologizing to Gordon."

Jeff opened the letter and read it to himself.

_Dear Dad,_

_By the time you read this, I will be gone. I am taking Tracy Three to the states. I will leave it at the Tracy Hanger in San Diego._

_I know that it will be hard for you to understand why I left, but I do have my reasons. Please consider this my official letter of resignation from International Rescue. I have always enjoyed my job until now. I know that the last rescue was a no-win situation and that Jennifer's paralysis was not my fault, but I also know that I could face a no-win situation each time we go out. I can't face that anymore. The feeling of helplessness is too much for me to handle._

_I have also decided to move from the island. I know that this will be the hardest part for you to understand, but it really is for the best. I have ruined the close relationship that I have had with my brothers. Don't blame them Dad. I don't. I have no one to blame but myself. I did the one thing that cannot be forgiven: I hurt one of my brothers. There is no excuse for what I did. It wasn't an accident. I was drunk. I was angry. I got physical and hurt Alan. I understand why my brothers feel the way that they do. I would feel the same way if the situation were reversed. I am hoping that after being separated for a while that we can repair our relationship._

_I intend to check into some standing job offers that I've had. Maybe I will go back to WASP. I know that you would gladly give me a permanent posting at Tracy Enterprises, but I just feel like I need to stand on my own. I need to prove to myself that I can._

_I don't know if any of this letter is making sense to you. I hope so. Please tell everyone that I love them, and that I am sorry for everything._

_Good-bye, Dad. I love you._

_Your son,_

_Gordon_

Jeff sighed as he returned the letter to its envelope. He looked at Scott who had been watching him expectantly. "Well, he definitely was intending to leave. I…uhm…you and Gordon really need to talk. The best advice that I can give you is: Be honest about how you feel. I know how deeply that you feel about all your brothers, but a lot of the time, you hide those feelings from them."

"I know Dad." Scott said softly. "I've never been very good talking about my emotions. I just assumed that all my brothers knew that I loved them just because they are my brothers, no matter what I said or did."

"Go talk to him. Be open and honest. I can't guarantee how he will react. You will just have to deal with it as it comes. "Jeff advised Scott. "I will tell you though, in his letter, Gordon wanted me to tell you boys that he loves you. I'm sure that he wants to resolve this rift as much as you do."

Scott nodded his head. "Thanks, Dad. I appreciate your advice. I think that I will head to the sickroom to talk to Gordon."

"Do you know what you will say?" Jeff asked.

"Well, the first thing that I am going to do is apologize." Scott answered. "After that, I don't know. It will depend on how Gordon reacts to me."

"Ok Scott," Jeff said. "Let Gordon know that I will be down to talk to him in a while."

Scott nodded his head as he left the plane.

* * *

Meanwhile Virgil was giving Dr. Shipman the tour of the villa. Since they were down in the hanger, Virgil decided to show him the Thunderbirds first. Standing in the cockpit of Thunderbird 1, Virgil was explaining. "Thunderbird 1 is our reconnaissance craft. It was built for speed. Normally Scott flies her. He is the first to reach the rescue site and determines a course of action. He lets us know what equipment to bring and sets up the mobile control. Most people think that Thunderbird 1 is the 'coolest' Thunderbird but in reality, International Rescue could not operate without all the Thunderbirds."

When they moved on to Thunderbird 2, Virgil could not keep the pride out of his voice. "Thunderbird 2 is the backbone of International Rescue. She has six pods that we use to transport the various equipment like the mole or the firefly. Gordon would say that the most important thing that Thunderbird 2 carries is Thunderbird 4." Mentioning Gordon's name, Virgil's voice dropped to a whisper.

Dr. Shipman noticed the change in Virgil immediately. "Virgil, do you want to talk about it?"

Virgil ran his hand through his hair. "I wasn't intending to make you work so soon after you arrived."

"That is perfectly all right." Dr. Shipman said. "It's what I'm here for."

"Ok," Virgil said. "I've never done this before. Do I start at my earliest memories or what?"

"Well," Dr. Shipman said with a small laugh. "Usually during the first visit, I have a list of background questions that I ask. But since I know most of your background, I'd say let's start with what is bothering you right now. If I have any questions, I'll ask. Does that sound ok?"

"Yeah, that sounds ok.' Virgil said. "Although I'm still not sure how to explain what I am feeling."

"That's ok. Take your time." Dr. Shipman replied. "If I may be bold, your demeanor changed when you mentioned Gordon's name. Maybe that would be a good start. How do you feel about the situation with Gordon?"

"Uh…yeah…Gordon…um…confused. I think definitely confused." Virgil stammered.

"How so?" Asked Dr. Shipman.

"Well," Virgil started explaining. "First off, at times I feel sorry for Gordon. He was in a no-win situation with that last rescue. I can understand why it was eating him up, but then I find myself getting angry with him. We have all had rescues that went bad and we've had to deal with them. He isolated himself from us. Even when we tried to help him, he just pushed us away. That's why he and Alan ended up in that fight. He was trying to push Alan away, but Alan pushed back. Then I start feeling guilty. Why was Alan the only one trying to get through to Gordon? Why didn't I notice the problem earlier? Why didn't I push more with him? Maybe if I had stepped in, Alan would not have gotten hurt. So now I feel like I let down both of my younger brothers."

"Believe it or not Virgil." Dr. Shipman said. "What you are feeling is perfectly normal."

It was an hour and a half later before Virgil and Dr. Shipman left Thunderbird 2. "Thanks Doc, I do feel better." Virgil said.

"I'm glad that I could help." Dr. Shipman replied. "I'm willing to talk anytime that you feel the need to."

TBC 

**Author's note** – OK guys, I decided that since you were so patient while I was away that I would post two chapters for you. I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter will be up soon.


	18. The Brothers Apologize

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Eighteen – The Brothers Apologize 

When Scott entered the sickroom, he went to Brains' office. "Hello Brains, how are things going?" Scott asked.

"F-F-Fine." Brains replied.

"How is Gordon? Would it be ok if I talk to him?" Scott continued.

"I g-guess you could try to t-talk to him." Brains said. "He hasn't b-been very r-receptive even when Alan t-t-tried to talk to him earlier."

"Well, I intend to apologize." Scott said. "So maybe things will be better once we are done talking."

Scott approached Gordon's bedside. He pulled up a chair and sat down. "Gordon, I need to talk to you. " Scott began but Gordon did not acknowledge Scott. He just stared at the ceiling. Scott took a deep breath and continued on. "I need to apologize to you. I've been acting like a real jerk. I was upset at the whole situation. No, that's not right. I was upset about my lack of control of the situation, and I took it out on you. I was wrong. I had no right to do that."

"Please Gordon, tell me that you forgive me. Please don't leave the island. You are my brother, and I love you. I would miss not seeing you and being able to talk to you everyday. It sure would be boring around here without your pranks."

"Gordon, about last night, I was way out of line. I reacted without gathering the facts first. I blamed you for something that didn't even happen. God, Gordon, you will never know how sorry I am." Scott's voice cracked with emotion. "Please, Gordon, please say something, anything. Call me names. Tell me what a rotten brother I am. Cuss me out. I deserve it. Please talk to me. I want to work this out between us. Just tell me what to do."

Gordon's stare finally left the ceiling. He locked eyes with Scott for just a moment. Then without a word, he rolled to his side with his back to Scott.

Scott sat stunned for a moment. Then he stood up as he started talking again. "Ok Gordon, I am going to leave now. Please think about what I said. I will be back to talk again. I promise." Placing his hand on Gordon's shoulder, he said. "I love you, Gordon, more than I can say."

Gordon's only response was to shrug Scott's hand off his shoulder.

Scott left the sickroom dejectedly.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Jeff entered the sickroom with Gordon's lunch. "Hello son, I've brought your lunch. How are you feeling today?"

Gordon just shrugged his shoulders, as he raised the head of the bed so he could eat.

Jeff looked his son over. "I see that you still have your IV. Has Brains said when he is planning on removing it?"

Gordon shrugged his shoulders again. Jeff watched as his son silently began to eat his lunch. Gordon's refusal to speak was concerning Jeff. He knew that he needed to talk to Gordon about his letter, but he decided not to push the subject just yet. "I need to have a word with Brains. I'll let you finish up your lunch, but then I would like to talk to you."

Jeff found Brains in his office. "When was the last time that you got any rest? It seems like I'm always finding you here."

"I got some r-r-rest last n-night, Mr. Tracy." Brains answered him. "G-Gordon slept through the n-n-night because of the sedative. Plus Alan s-stayed here with him so I f-felt safe in leaving the s-sickroom."

"How is he doing, really?" Jeff asked. "Especially after last night."

"Actually, he is doing b-b-better than I expected." Brains said. "After the a-altercation last night, I t-t-thought that he would f-fight me on treatment, but he h-h-has followed my orders to the l-letter."

"I noticed that you put the IV back in. Do you have any idea how long he will still need it? Jeff asked.

"I was s-s-surprised that he let me p-put it back in, but I t-told him that if he ate all his m-m-meals today that I w-would remove the IV tomorrow. I also t-t-told him that if things went w-well tomorrow that I would r-release him from the sickroom the n-n-next day."

"Are you sure that he will be well enough to be released?" Jeff asked with concern in his voice.

"Well, I'm n-not releasing him for f-full duty, but I feel t-t-that he is well enough to l-l-leave the sickroom." Brains explained. "He has b-been eating and sleeping again. He has regained s-some of the weight that he had lost. I am c-concerned about his mental state but hopefully D-D-Dr. Shipman can help him with that. I w-will watch him and m-m-make sure that he continues to f-f-follow my instructions."

"Ok Brains," Jeff said. "I defer to your judgment."

Jeff returned to Gordon's bedside. He saw the Gordon had finished his lunch and was reading a magazine. "Well, it looks like Brains is going to let you out of here in a couple of days. I'm sure that you will be glad to get out of here."

Gordon just shrugged his shoulders and went back to reading.

"Uhm…Gordon," Jeff began, unsure on how to continue. "I would like to talk to you about the letter that you left for me."

Gordon looked at his Dad, eye to eye, but still did not speak.

Jeff asked. "Do you still want to leave?" When Gordon just nodded, he continued. "Is there anything that I can do or say to change your mind?'

Gordon sighed and spoke to his father for the first time since he had returned to the island. "Dad, can we talk about this later? I'm kinda tired and I really don't want to argue with you right now."

"Only if you make me one promise." Jeff said. "I want you to talk to me before you leave. I don't want you sneaking away like you tried to do last night. Do we have a deal?'

Gordon nodded his head.

"Ok, I'll be back later." Jeff told him, patting him on the shoulder. "Get some rest. I love you son."

* * *

After Jeff left the sickroom, Gordon reclined the bed some and stared at the ceiling again. Brains came out of the office and said to him. "W-Will you be ok here if I g-g-go to my lab for a s-short time." He saw Gordon nod his head. "R-R-Remember, if you want me to release you, you must f-follow my instructions to the letter." He told Gordon as he walked out the door.

Five minutes later, Virgil poked his head in the door. "Hey Gordon, is Brains in his office?' He asked.

Gordon shook his head no.

"Great," Virgil said as he entered the sickroom carrying a covered tray. "I brought you something but don't tell Brains. He wants you to only eat 'healthy foods' right now and this doesn't qualify." He set the tray down and with a flourish lifted the cover. "Tada, your favorite: 'Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk."

Gordon couldn't help the smile that came to his face. "Thanks," he said quietly as his brother handed him a spoon.

"Look Gordon," Virgil began. "I am really sorry for the way I treated you after we found Alan. There is no excuse for my actions. I talked to Dr. Shipman earlier. He has helped me put some of my feelings in prospective. I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you for what happened. And more important, I don't want you to leave. I love you, Gordon." Virgil's voice choked with emotion while his eyes filled with unshed tears.

He cleared his throat and continued. "Uhm…I'm going to leave now. I will check back on you later. I hope that you will accept my apology." Virgil quickly left the sickroom before he lost what little control he had on his emotions.

TBC

**Author's note** - Will Gordon accept Scott's apology? Can Jeff talk Gordon out of leaving? Will Brains find out about the ice cream? These are a few questions that will be answered in the coming chapters. Stay tuned.

**andrewjameswilliams** - Thank you for your reviews. A resolution is coming, I promise.

**merryw** - Boy, poor Dr. Shipman is really going to have his hands full with this family.


	19. More Brothers Seek Advice

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Nineteen – More Brothers Seek Advice 

After lunch, John walked Dr. Shipman back to his room. "Do you have some time to talk? John asked.

"Sure John, come on in." Dr. Shipman replied.

"Thanks Doc." John entered the guest room and began rambling. "I know that Dad has filled you in on the situation between Gordon and Alan. We all feel guilty over how bad things had gotten. But man, at times like this, I feel so left out of the loop. I mean I was up on Thunderbird 5, and it was two and a half weeks before I knew that Gordon was having a problem. I'm an International Rescue operative, sworn to help those in need, but I couldn't even help my brother because I was up in a space station. Don't get me wrong. I love Thunderbird 5. I love being among the stars. It's my passion, but it is also a burden. After being separated from my family like I am, I feel like an outsider even when I am at home."

"I always tell my brothers that they can talk to me about anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm their therapist, but who am I fooling. I wasn't trained to do counseling. What if the advice that I gave Alan was wrong? What if I made everything worse?"

"Whoa, whoa, John slow down." Dr. Shipman interrupted. "The first thing is: don't deal in 'what if'. You need to deal with facts. The fight happened, no 'what if', you deal with it."

"Let's start with why do your brothers come to you with their problems? From what your father has told me, it is because you are a good listener. You have a sensitive nature that makes you a natural when it comes to giving advice. They come to you because they trust you. They know that you will give them sound advice. Speaking as a trained therapist, we have our doubts too, especially after losing a patient. I have to remind myself that I can only do my best and that it is ultimately a person's choice as to what they do with that advice. No matter what profession a person chooses, everyone has doubts. It is part of the human nature."

"Yeah, I guess you are right." John said. "Sometimes a person just needs to rant and get it off their chest."

"Tell me about it." Dr. Shipman said with a laugh. "Most therapy is just that. Letting the person talk out their feelings. Now that you know about me, you can call me anytime that you feel the need to 'rant'."

Two hours later, John and Dr. Shipman were still talking. John wiped some tears from his eyes. "Wow, I didn't realize that confronting feelings could take so much out of a person physically."

"Most people don't." Dr. Shipman replied. "But it has been clearly documented the emotional stress can cause physical symptoms, and those symptoms can also vary from person to person."

John looked at his watch. "Oh my, look at the time. I can't believe we've been talking for two hours. I feel like a snack. Would you like to join me?" He asked as he stood up.

"Sounds good." Dr. Shipman said as he also stood. "What do you Tracy boys usually have for a snack?" He asked as the two men headed for the kitchen.

"Who, us?" John said with a smirk. "We are slaves to sugar. Grandma has us spoiled. Chocolate cakes, apple pies, cookies, she makes them all. She even freezes some so we have them even when she is gone. Kyrano, on the other hand, tries to get us to eat 'healthy' snacks. He always makes sure there are plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables."

"And you eat them just to make him happy, right?" The doctor asked with a laugh.

John laughed along with him. "Believe it or not, we do choose healthy foods a lot. After all, with our jobs, we need to stay fit."

John and Dr. Shipman entered the kitchen and found Scott, Virgil and Alan already enjoying a snack. They all had ice cream, but Scott and Virgil had topped theirs with some fresh berries.

"Hi Doc, are you getting settled in?" Virgil asked.

"I sure am. This really is a lovely home. John brought me down for a 'snack'." Dr. Shipman said.

"And I'm sure we all know what 'snack' John wants." Virgil said with a laugh.

"Grandma's apple pie," the three brothers said in unison.

Dr. Shipman raised an eyebrow at John. "A little predictable, are we?"

"So sue me." John said laughing while at the same time reaching for the apple pie.

"I thought Grandma was helping a friend recuperate." Dr. Shipman said, questioning the appearance of the pie.

"I told you that she freezes some for when she is away. We just bake them when we want them." John replied.

"Oh, that's right. You were telling me how you boys are slaves to sugar." Dr. Shipman laughed.

The three brothers reacted with indignation.

"Slaves to sugar?"

"Us!"

"What rumors are you spreading now?"

John knew that his brothers were just having some fun. He turned to Dr. Shipman. "What can I get for you, Doc?" He asked

The doctor started laughing. "I told you guys to call me Frank, but you all have seemed to have latched onto 'Doc'."

"Does that bother you?" Virgil asked.

"Nah, Doc is fine. It is just one of those sub-conscious things that all of you share. I find those kind of things interesting." The doctor said. "And John, I think that the ice cream with the fruit looks good."

"I'll get it." Alan volunteered. When he handed the doctor his ice cream, he asked. "Do you think that we could go somewhere and talk?"

"Why don't you let him finish his snack?" John asked.

"That's ok John, as long as Alan doesn't mind me eating while we talk, we can do it now." Dr Shipman said. "Where would you like to go, Alan?"

"Uhm, I guess, my room." Alan replied.

"Hey Alan." Virgil cut in. "Why don't you two go down to the pool? It's a lot nicer out there. We will give you privacy, won't we guys." The other brothers nodded their heads. "We will stay away until you bring your ice cream bowls back to the kitchen. That will be the signal that you are done, at least for now."

"I think that is a wonderful idea." Dr. Shipman said, grabbing his bowl, and he headed toward the door. "Come along Alan. Let's get some sun."

Alan grabbed his bowl and followed the doctor outside.

Dr. Shipman stretched out on one of the poolside loungers. "So Alan, what did you want to discuss?"

Alan dropped his bowl on the poolside table with a thud. "I wanted to talk about the fact that my family is falling apart and it is all my fault."

"Ok, how is this your fault? Weren't you the injured party?" The doctor asked.

"Well," Alan began to explain. "I knew something was wrong with Gordon. Maybe if I could have convinced Scott or Virgil to help earlier, things may have turned out different. Could I have handled the situation in the pod differently? I was so worried about him, especially after finding out about the drinking on top of the sleeping pills. I should have called for help. I should not have tried to handle it alone. Now because I screwed up, Scott is mad at Gordon. Gordon wants to leave because of how Scott is treating him. I just want things to go back to the way things were before. I love all my brothers, but right now I am really mad at both Scott and Gordon. I'm mad at Scott because he is being a know-it-all, I'm-in-charge jerk. But then I'm mad at Gordon for letting Scott treat him that way. I mean after all, I am the one that was injured. If I can let it go, why can't Scott? I tried to help Gordon. Why wouldn't he let me?"

Alan paused for a moment looking at Dr. Shipman. "I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"You would be surprised at how much I learn about a person while they are 'not making sense' as you called it." Dr. Shipman began. "First off: No 'what ifs'. Your brothers didn't get involved earlier. You didn't call for help in the pod. You don't deal with things that may or may not happen. You need to deal with facts. The confrontation happened. So did the fall out between your brothers. Which is point number two: You can't control them. You can tell them how you feel but ultimately the choice is theirs. The relationship between them is just that: It is between them, not you and them."

When Jeff entered the kitchen for dinner, he was surprised to find only Scott, Virgil and Brains at the table. "Hello, where is everybody?" He asked.

Virgil was the one who answered. "John took Gordon his dinner. Alan and Dr. Shipman are down by the pool talking."

"Has anyone informed them that it is time for dinner?" Jeff questioned his sons.

"No Dad, we haven't." Virgil explained. "We promised Alan that we would give them total privacy until he came back in. We need to respect that promise. Kyrano has already put some food back to keep warm for them."

"I see," Jeff replied. "A promise is a promise after all. Ok, let's eat."

_TBC_

**Author's note** - Ok, now we know how the other brothers feel. The action will be picking up soon.

**barb from utah** - You are right. Gordon is not about to let Scott off so easily.


	20. A Brother's Decision

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Twenty – A Brother's Decision 

John entered the sickroom with Gordon's dinner tray. "Hi ya Gords, how are you feeling? Ready for dinner?"

"Hi John," Gordon said quietly. "Do I dare ask what totally boring fare Brains has order for me tonight?"

"Never fear Gordon." John said with a smile. "Your big brother has come to your rescue. I've talked to Brains and got the ok for a special dinner."

"And what would that be?" Gordon asked John suspiciously.

"Think back to when we were kids." John said. "When you were sick, what did you always ask me to make for you?"

A small smile came to Gordon's face. "Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. Brains actually agreed to this?"

"Sure, I can be very persuasive." John said. "Besides he figured that after the ice cream earlier that you would need an incentive to eat your dinner."

"How'd he know about the ice cream?" Gordon asked. "Virgil thought that he was being so careful sneaking it in."

"You should know that not much escapes Brains' attention." John replied. "Now eat up while the food is still hot." Gordon began eating while John continued. "So, how are things between you and our brothers?"

"Well," Gordon said around a mouthful of food. "Scott was in this morning and apologized, but his apology just made me angry. For the last few days he has treated me like a plague to be avoided. Then he comes and apologizes, and I'm just supposed to forgive everything. Well, I can't. He didn't want to accept my apology for what I did to Alan and that was an accident. I swear to God, John, it was an accident, but his treatment of me was intentional."

John placed his hand on Gordon's shoulder. "Calm down. It's ok. Let's not talk about Scott anymore. What about Virgil? You said that he brought you ice cream earlier?"

"There is not much to say." Gordon said pushing away his now empty dinner tray. "He came in after lunch and brought me some ice cream."

"Let me guess." John interrupted. "Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk?"

"You know me too well." Gordon said. "Anyways, Virgil also apologized for how he acted that first day, after they had found Alan, but then he got emotional and left before I had a chance to say anything to him."

"Well, you can always talk to him later." John said trying to comfort his brother.

Gordon sighed. "I don't know John. I'm leaving."

"Are you serious?" John asked.

"Yes, I've already told Dad of my intentions. He wants to talk before I go. I'm sure that he will try to talk me out of leaving, but my mind is made up." Gordon explained.

"Well, I will admit that I had hoped that you would change your mind." John said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But if it the way you really feel. I will support you. You just better keep in touch."

"NO! YOU CAN'T GO!" Alan yelled.

Startled John and Gordon looked toward the sound of Alan's voice. They saw him standing in the doorway of the sickroom.

Alan continued. "Gordon, you can't leave. We are a team. You're like a part of me. I wouldn't know what to do if you left."

"Alan," Gordon said. "It is just something that I feel that I have to do. Please understand.

Alan was getting angry. "Scott said that he would apologize. He promised to make things right so that you wouldn't leave."

Now Gordon was getting angry. Who did Scott think he was to make such a promise? He tried to keep his voice calm. "It's not Scott's choice, Alan. He doesn't have a say in my decision."

"But you want to leave because of how he has treated you, right?" Alan countered.

"Yes, it is one of the reasons, but it is not the only reason. I've been thinking about it a lot over the past few weeks." Gordon said trying to explain his decision to Alan.

"Please Gordon, reconsider." Alan begged. "You haven't been yourself these last few weeks. It's not the time to be making life-altering decisions. Please say you'll stay, Gordon, please."

Gordon could hear the pain in Alan's voice and it almost broke him. Almost. "Look, Alan, I can't promise to stay, but I will promise to re-think my decision. That's the most that I can do at this point."

Alan sighed. "Thanks, Gordon. I have faith in you. I know that you will make the right decision."

Two days later, Brains finally released Gordon from the sickroom. It had been a busy couple of days for both Gordon and International Rescue. The three older brothers had been called to two rescues in less the twenty-four hours. Alan had spent most of that time running back and forth from the sickroom to the lounge to get updates on the rescue, which he then shared with Gordon. Gordon could tell by the way that Alan talked that he assumed that Gordon had changed his mind about leaving and Gordon couldn't bring himself to tell him otherwise.

Scott and Virgil had been in to visit a couple of times when they were on the island. Gordon felt that things were getting better between himself and Virgil, but he was frustrated with Scott. Scott acted like everything had been resolved after his apology, but Gordon couldn't let go of the hurt Scott had caused. He also resented how Scott just assumed that his apology had been accepted and that things were back to normal.

John and Alan kept him occupied most of the time. Alan rambled most of the time. He wanted to make a bunch of plans for the two of them to do together after Gordon got out sickroom. John though listened quietly while Gordon explained his reasons for leaving. He seemed to understand and even sympathized with the difficult decision that Gordon had made.

Gordon had meet with Dr. Shipman three times. He was surprised when Dr. Shipman did not try to convince him to stay. After Gordon had explained his reasons, Dr. Shipman actually helped Gordon explain it to his father. His father had argued that if he wanted to leave International Rescue that he should take a posting at Tracy Enterprises so that he could remain on the Island.

Begin Flashback 

"I don't understand, Gordon." Jeff said. "Why do you want to leave the Island, your family?"

"Dad," Gordon explained. "I need to prove to myself that I can stand on my own two feet, be my own man. I need to step out of my famous father's shadow or my brothers' for that matter."

"But you did that when you were in WASP." Jeff said in exasperation.

"Then I had the hydrofoil accident." Gordon said. "After I left rehab, I came here. You organized International Rescue so that there was a position for everyone."

"And you have done an amazing job." Jeff argued.

"Until the last rescue." Gordon said quietly.

"Gordon…" Jeff began but Gordon interrupted him.

"I know, Dad, I know." Gordon said, trying to keep his voice calm. "It wasn't my fault. I had to make a split-second decision and act. We do it all the time on rescues. We need to be able to do that. Unfortunately, since that rescue, I find myself second-guessing all my decisions. I've lost my self-confidence. I can't work like that. It makes me an ineffective member of the team. And face it Dad, an ineffective member is a dangerous member. I don't want to place my brothers in danger. I couldn't live with myself if any of them got hurt again because of me."

"You know that we don't blame you for what happened to Alan." Jeff said. "Alan is your strongest supporter. Even Scott feels sorry for how he treated you. I know that they trust you."

"But I don't trust myself." Gordon said quietly. "And that is what matters."

Realizing that he was not going to change Gordon's mind, he asked. "Any preference on who should pilot Thunderbird 4 in your place?"

"Gee, Dad, the Thunderbirds are such amazing machines that almost anyone could operate them." Gordon said with a smirk. Then getting serious again, he said. "Please understand Dad, I just need to know that I can make my own way without your input."

"Ok, Gordon," Jeff sighed. "But remember that you always have a job and more importantly you have a family waiting here for you. Do you want to tell your brothers or do you want me to?"

"Uhm…could you do me a favor? Wait until after I am gone before you tell them what is going on." Gordon asked.

"That's a little unfair to your brothers isn't it?" Jeff asked. "They will want a chance to say goodbye."

"John already knows." Gordon told him. "Scott will try to intimidate me into staying. Virgil will just withdraw, and Alan will freak out big time. I don't want to deal with the range of emotions that this news will bring up. Please, Dad, I know that it is a lot to ask, but could you do it?"

"I understand." Jeff said. "Sure, if that's what you want, I'll do it."

End Flashback 

Gordon was now in his room packing his bags. Even though he was confident that he had made the right decision, he still was saddened at the idea of leaving home. He planned on leaving that evening. His dad was going to fly him to San Diego, where he had already reserved a hotel suite. Once he had decided on a job, he would look for an apartment of his own.

Gordon heard a knock on his door. Assuming it was his dad to confirm their travel plans, he said. "Come in."

When the door opened though, it was Alan who stood there. Gordon knew that his quiet getaway was lost.

"Hey Gordon," Alan began. "Do you want to…" His voice dropped off as he noticed the half-packed suitcases on the bed. "Is Dad sending you away on business?" He asked

Gordon looked at Alan and calmly said. "No, he's not. I'm leaving Alan."

"Leaving! You can't! You…Scott said…" Alan stumbled for the words.

"I said that I would re-think my decision." Gordon said. "I did, and I came to the same conclusion. Scott has nothing to say about my decision."

"Well, then I'll come with you." Alan said.

"No Alan, I have to do this alone." Gordon told him. "You are my brother and I love you, but I need to find myself. I need to discover what I can be outside the Tracy forum. I can't do that if you are with me."

Gordon could see the fire that flashed in Alan's eyes and expected a major tantrum from him. Instead Alan turned and left the room without saying a word.

John sat at his father's desk, studying the incoming weather reports. Scott and Virgil stood on either side of him.

"How bad is the storm supposed to get?" Virgil asked.

"Well, it could get pretty nasty." John answered. "I don't think that it should interfere with the Thunderbirds, but the high winds and rain that is predicted could cause some downed trees and maybe break some windows."

"Well," Scott said taking charge. "We should try to do as much weatherproofing as we can. How long before the storm hits the Island, John?"

"I would say probably a couple of hours." John said. "We need to let Dad know."

"Go ahead and call…" Whatever else Scott was going to say was lost when Alan came barging into the room.

He stormed over to Scott, yelling at him. "You son of a…" Before anyone could react, Alan punched Scott in the nose, sending Scott to the floor. "You lied to me!" Alan shouted and then left the room.

Virgil reached down to help his brother up. Scott took Virgil's hand with one hand and with the other tried to stem the flow of blood from his nose.

John moved from the chair. "Here Scott, sit down." He ordered.

"What was that all about? What lie?" Virgil asked.

As Scott sat down in the chair, he said quietly. "I have no idea."

_TBC_

**Author's note** - Ok, I'll admit it. I'm anxious to get back to the action, so I went ahead and posted this chapter right after the last. Boy, is Alan mad at Scott. Now that Alan knows about Gordon's plans, how is he going to handle it? Will he still try to talk Gordon out of leaving? Will Scott find out why he just got decked? Next chapter should be up tomorrow.


	21. A Brother Injured

**Author's note** – A nice reader pointed out a couple of mistakes we made dealing with the structure of Tracy Island. Since they weren't involving the story plot, we were able to correct them without affecting the flow of the story. Thanks Tikatu.

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Twenty-One – A Brother Injured 

Jeff was coming down the hallway when he heard Alan yell something. Alan stormed out of the lounge and past his Dad without a word. Jeff entered the lounge to find Scott sitting in his chair with a bloody towel held to his nose. John and Virgil were hovering over him.

"What happened?" Jeff demanded.

Startled, John and Virgil turned to see their Dad approaching the desk. Virgil was the one to answer. "We're not sure, Dad. Alan came in here yelling about Scott lying to him. He punched Scott in the nose and left the room."

Jeff saw the silent message in John's eyes. He reached over to the comm. unit and punched in Gordon's extension. "Gordon, you haven't happened to have seen Alan lately, have you?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah Dad," Gordon replied. "He was here in my room a few minutes ago."

"So he knows?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, he knows. Why? What has he done?" Gordon asked quietly.

"Could you please come to the lounge? I will explain when you get here." Jeff said.

"Sure Dad, I'm on my way." Gordon replied.

"Foun out wha?" Scott asked through his pinched nose.

Jeff hesitated for a moment. If Alan knew, he would surely tell his brothers when he calmed down. So there would be no purpose to keep the secret. "Gordon has resigned from International Rescue."

Both Virgil and Scott reacted in shock.

"What?"

"When were you going to tell us?"

Jeff waved his hand to silence his sons. "There's more. I am flying him to San Diego this evening. He has a couple of job offers that he wants to check out."

"He's leaving the Island?" Virgil asked incredulously. "But we're his family. He can't just leave." Virgil saw the dejected look on his Father's face. Then he also noticed the same look on John's face. "John, you knew about this, didn't you?" He demanded angrily.

John sighed. "Yes, he has been talking to me about it over the last few days."

"Then why the hell didn't you tell us?" Scott yelled. "We could have talked him out of it."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, Scott." John said defensively. "It was his decision and his alone to make. He asked me not to say anything. He didn't want to deal with Alan throwing a tantrum or with you trying to bully him into staying."

Scott stood up. "Me? Bully?"

A voice from the doorway broke in. "Yes, Scott. You are a bully." Gordon said disgustedly. "You treated me like dirt. Then you expect that your apology would erase all the pain that you caused. You never even took the time to notice that I never said that I accepted your apology. You made promises to Alan that you expect me to keep. You had no right to tell him that I would stay. That is my decision whether I stay or go." Gordon was in full rant mode at this point.

John tried to defuse the situation by changing the subject. "Guys, we can discuss this later. Right now we need to prepare for the upcoming storm."

"What storm?" Jeff asked.

"We were just going to call you when Alan came in. The tropical storm that you asked me to keep an eye on has shifted its path. The heavy storm area should still miss us but we will probably be hit with wind and rain from the outer portion of the storm. I calculate that it should reach us in approximately an hour and thirty-eight minutes. We should start preparing for it immediately." John said.

"What about the Thunderbirds? Will we be able to respond if we get a call?" Jeff asked.

"I already checked that." John said. "Even though high winds are predicted, they are still below the 'birds' safety levels."

"Ok, we need everyone to help." Jeff began, going into commander mode. "Call Brains and Kyrano. Where's Alan? Virgil, Gordon we need to batten down anything that is not already secured. Scott, how's the nose? Has it stopped bleeding?" Scott nodded his head. "Good, you and John head down to the hanger. Tracy Three is on the runway. I was going to use it to fly Gordon to the mainland tonight, but obviously that flight will have to wait. Please put the plane away and make sure that everything is secured down there."

Brains and Kyrano entered the lounge. Jeff told them. "Good, you're here. There is a storm heading for the Island. I need you two to head to the patio and secure what you can." Jeff pushed the household intercom button. "Alan, please report to the lounge."

* * *

Alan, however, was not in the house. After his altercation with Scott, he had gone up to the bluff. His emotions were running high. He could feel the tears building, and he wanted to get away so that his brothers would not see him cry.

"Why!" He screamed into the wind as he allowed the tears to fall. "How can he leave? Doesn't he know what he means to us? Oh God, why?" Alan sank to the ground. He pulled his knees to his chest and laid his head on his knees as he sobbed out his anger and frustration.

While his brothers were carrying out their dad's orders, Alan sat at the bluff with his head resting on his knees. He lost track of time as he thought about Gordon leaving. His older brothers teased them about being two halves of the same person. At this moment, Alan felt like a part of himself was missing. Soon Alan fell asleep oblivious to the danger heading his way.

* * *

An hour and twenty minutes later, the residents of Tracy Island had gathered in the kitchen. "You boys did a great job getting things secured as fast as you did." Jeff praised his sons. "John could you get me an update on the storm?"

"I'll d-d-do that Mr. T-Tracy." Brains interrupted. "I want to g-g-get some readings for my own r-r-research anyways."

"Thanks, Brains." Jeff said. "Now I'm going to talk to Alan. It's one thing to pout, but he ignored my call. That is one thing I won't put up with."

Jeff checked the computer and saw that Alan's comm. watch showed him in his room. Jeff knocked on Alan's door but did not receive an answer. He knocked again and said through the door. "Alan, this is your father. I am coming in. Either you open this door or I will." When the door remained closed, Jeff keyed in his override code to open it. He found the room empty. Alan's watch laid on his nightstand. "Now where in hell has he gotten to?" He said to the empty room.

When Jeff returned to the kitchen, he found his three middle sons enjoying Kyrano's fresh made lemonade.

"Has anyone seen Alan?" He asked.

"Not since the incident with Scott." Virgil answered him. John and Gordon just shook their heads.

"Well, he doesn't seem to be here in the house. Any idea where he may have gone?" Jeff asked.

"Did you try to track his watch?" John asked.

"He left it in his room." Jeff said as he held up Alan's watch.

"He probably forgot it again. It won't go around his cast so he's been sticking it in his pocket when he remembers." Gordon explained. "He probably went to the bluff. I'll go get him."

"Wait a minute," Jeff said. "That storm will be on us at anytime. What makes you think that he went to the bluff?"

"That's where he goes whenever he is upset." Gordon explained. "Haven't you guys ever noticed that?"

"Ok, head up there." Jeff relented. "But make it quick. Call in if you run into any problems. We'll search the house and silos, and we'll call you if he turns up. Be careful."

* * *

Alan awoke to find himself being pelted by heavy raindrops. Strong winds were blowing around him. He raised his head and saw the dark, heavy clouds overhead. When a lightening bolt flashed just off shore, Alan knew that he had to get back to the safety of the villa. He began to run back down the path.

He had made it about a third of the way back when he ran into Gordon. "Gordon, what are you doing out here?" He asked loudly to be heard over the wind.

"I came to find you. Why else?" Gordon replied. "Come on let's get back. The less time we are out here, the better."

Gordon breathed a sigh of relief when the villa came into view. Their run had slowed as the winds intensified. "We're almost there." He told Alan. "Just a few more…" He stopped when he heard a noise. He turned toward the sound and reacted.

* * *

Scott sat at his father's desk. He was worried. The storm was getting worse, and they still had not heard from Gordon. His Father was somewhere talking to Dr. Shipman. He knew that his Father was concerned about how Gordon's leaving was going to affect the family. He swore to himself that he would do whatever he could to ease the transition.

His thoughts were interrupted by Gordon's portrait flashing. "Gordon, where…" He stopped when he saw who it was "Alan?"

"Scott, Oh my God, Scott." Alan cried. "You've got to help me!"

Scott could tell that Alan was near hysterics. "Alan, where are you? Where's Gordon?"

"Scott, it's Gordon. He…he…oh my God. Help me Scott. I need help!" Alan continued to cry. "Please, Scott. Hurry, please."

"I'm on my way, Alan. Hang tight." Scott said. He sounded the household alarm while at the same time pinpointing the position of Gordon's watch.

"What is happening, Scott?" Jeff demanded as he entered the lounge. John and Virgil were right behind him.

"Alan called for help." Scott said.

"Alan?" Jeff asked. "Alan doesn't have his watch."

"He used Gordon's watch." Scott explained. "I don't know what has happened. Alan was hysterical when he called in. All he said was that he needed help fast. When I mentioned Gordon, he just got more upset. Obviously he and Gordon had met up or he wouldn't have the watch. I just hope that Gordon hasn't done something stupid."

"Now Scott…" Jeff began, but Scott cut him off.

"I know, I know. Don't jump to conclusions. I just wish that I knew what was going on out there. I have pinpointed Alan's position not too far from the villa."

"Ok, you three head out." Jeff commanded. "Take a med kit and a stretcher with you. Since we don't know what has happened, I would rather err on the side of caution."

When the three brothers reached the point that Alan's call came from, their hearts stopped.

"Oh My God!"

"No, No, No!"

"Gordon!"

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Oh my, now what has happened to poor Gordon? The next chapter should be up tomorrow.

**AngelMouse5** – Poor Alan, poor Gordon. Just wait until next chapter.

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** – Are you psychic? We have a feeling that you are on to us.

**merryw** – Thanks for your review. Can Scott ever get Gordon to forgive him? The next few chapters hold the answers.

**barb from utah** – Relationships between siblings can be unpredictable. Updates are on the way.

**andrewjameswilliams** – You were right. Alan finding out the way he did only complicated matters. But speaking as someone who has a 'little' brother who tends to throw a tantrum when things don't go his way, I would have opted for the easy way out too.


	22. A Brother Rescued

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert 

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Twenty-Two – A Brother Rescued 

The scene that the three brothers came upon stopped them dead in their tracks. Alan sat next to an unconscious Gordon begging him to wake up. Gordon was laying face down in the middle of the path. He was bleeding from a cut on his forehead, which he received after hitting a rock as he fell. The most terrifying thing though was the large tree branch that laid across his back.

Scott looked at John. "Take care of Alan. We'll take care of Gordon. Also get a hold of Dad. Brains will need to set up the sickroom."

John put his arm around Alan's shoulders. "Come on Al, you need to move so that Scott and Virgil can help Gordon."

For the first time since their arrival, Alan acknowledged his brothers. "Oh God, John." He cried as the tears mixed with the rain streaming down his face. "He saved my life."

"What happened, Alan?" John asked.

"We were on our way back." Alan explained haltingly. "The storm was really picking up. We were trying to get back as quickly as possible. I heard a noise and when I turned, I saw the tree branch falling. The next thing I knew Gordon had pushed me away and he was on the ground under the tree. He's going to be ok, isn't he, John?"

John's heart was breaking. Alan sounded like a lost, little boy when he asked that question. "We are going to do what we can. We'll know more when Brains has a chance to examine him."

Scott interrupted. "John, we need help moving this branch."

"Ok Scott," John said moving to help. The rain was turning the path into mud, making it hard to get a good foothold.

"We need to do this carefully." Scott commanded. "Once we lift the branch, we need to move it in one motion. Above all else, we can't drop it. Gordon's already been hit once by it. We don't want to injure him further."

The brothers lined themselves up along the tree branch. Alan had even pulled himself together enough to help. In a matter of minutes the branch was safely off Gordon. Scott and Virgil worked to get Gordon securely on a backboard and on the stretcher. Alan softly spoke to his brother encouraging him to wake up. John put in a call to their father.

"John," Jeff said acknowledging the incoming call. "What is going on out there?"

"Dad," John said. "Gordon is injured. Brains needs to have the sickroom ready. We'll be back in approximately twenty minutes."

"Injured? How?" Jeff wanted to know.

"He was hit by a falling tree branch." John explained. "He was a cut on his forehead. He is unconscious at this time." John hesitated for a moment then continued. "He may also have a back injury."

"His back?" Jeff said in alarm.

Quietly John told him. "That's where the branch hit him."

"Ok John," Jeff said. "We'll be ready and waiting for you. Just get him here as quickly as you can."

"F-A-B, Dad." John cut the communication and went to help Scott and Virgil.

* * *

Jeff spent the next twenty minutes pacing the sickroom. Brains was setting out the equipment that he expected to need.

Dr. Shipman was also there watching Jeff. "Are you ok, Jeff?" He asked.

"It's hard, Frank." Jeff said. "I hate waiting when I know that one of my sons is hurt. Time seems to move at a snail's pace. God, where are they?"

"They will be here soon." Dr. Shipman said. "John said twenty minutes. It's only been…" He was interrupted by the sound of the brothers in the hallway.

Jeff watched as his sons entered the room. They all were wet and muddy. Scott and Virgil carefully guided the stretcher into the sickroom.

"Any change?" Jeff asked.

Scott shook his head. "No, he hasn't shown any sign of regaining consciousness."

Jeff nodded at his oldest son when suddenly he found his youngest son in his arms. "It's going to be all right, Alan." He said trying to comfort his son.

"But it's my fault." Alan cried. "He pushed me out of the way. It should be me that's hurt, not him."

"It's not your fault." Jeff said trying to calm Alan. "He chose to push you out of the way. He knew that it would be dangerous."

"But if I hadn't gone to the bluff, he wouldn't have been out there at all." Alan argued.

"No buts." Jeff said firmly. "You didn't know that this was going to happen. It was an accident. Accidents just happen. Nobody is at fault."

Brains interrupted at this point. "I n-n-need you to leave s-so that I can examine G-G-Gordon."

Alan exploded. "Leave? I am not leaving until I know that he is ok."

"Look," Brains said. "I need to do a f-f-full examination. I can't d-do that with all of you h-hovering around here. Go c-c-clean up. By the time you have s-showered and changed into dry clothes, I hope to have f-f-finished the examination and have an update f-for you."

"Go ahead boys," Jeff commanded. "Go get cleaned up."

The four brothers quietly left the sickroom. Each one headed to their own rooms to get cleaned up. Jeff walked to Gordon's bedside and took his son's hand.

"M-M-Mr. Tracy," Brains began. "I also need you to l-leave."

"Me? But Brains, I need to be here for him." Jeff argued.

"Please, Jeff," Brains said quietly. "Let m-me do my job. Dr. Shipman c-can help me."

"Frank isn't an MD." Jeff continued his argument.

"N-Neither are you." Brains said. "It really is best if you left. P-P-Please I wouldn't ask you to if I didn't f-feel it was important. I p-p-promise to let you know as s-soon as I have some answers."

"Ok Brains," Jeff reluctantly agreed. "Keep me informed." He said as he walked out of the sickroom.

* * *

One by one the four brothers joined their father outside the sickroom. They all alternated between leaning against the walls and pacing the hallway. Kyrano came down and offered coffee to the men, but they turned him down. They were too upset to put anything in their stomachs.

"How long has it been?" Alan demanded.

"About forty-five minutes." John said looking at his watch.

"Why is it taking so long?" Alan asked.

"Brains just wants to be thorough." Jeff replied. "He promised…" He stopped when Brains stepped out of the sickroom.

"If you w-w-would all go to my office, I will explain Gordon's c-c-condition." Brains told them.

It was hard for the Tracy family to walk through the sickroom. They could see Gordon lying in the bed. His face was pale with a bandage around his forehead. Various machines sat next to the bed monitoring his condition. Dr. Shipman was there watching the machines and recorded any changes on his chart.

"Would any of you l-l-like a seat?" Brains asked pointing to the two chairs in front of his desk. The five Tracys shook their heads.

"What have you found out Brains?" Jeff asked.

"Well, f-f-first off," Brains began. "His vitals are good. His h-heart rate is strong and his respiration is steady. He d-did incur a head injury. The g-good news is that there is no evidence of a s-s-skull fracture or intercranial pressure or b-b-bleeding. The fact that he has not regained consciousness had m-m-me slightly concerned, but h-head injuries can be unpredictable. It could be nothing."

"What about his back?" Jeff asked quietly.

Brains sighed. "Well, that is m-more complicated. The examination showed d-d-definite swelling around the s-spinal cord. At this point in time, his lower reflexes are n-n-non-reactive."

"What are you saying?" Alan demanded.

"He's paralyzed. Isn't he?" Scott said.

"B-B-Before anyone panics, it may be only t-t-temporary." Brains said. "We w-will have to wait until the swelling g-g-goes down."

"But it could be permanent." Scott stated, his voice choking with emotion.

"Yes Scott, it could be." Brains said resignedly.

"Oh God, Dad." Alan cried.

Jeff held his youngest son, while Alan cried his grief into his father's shoulder.

Virgil sagged against John. "Not again. It can't be happening again. Not to Gordon."

John put his arm around Virgil's shoulders. "He's strong. He beat it once. He can do it again. We have to be strong for him."

Scott stared at the floor. A myriad of emotions ran through him: Relief that Gordon was going to live, Grief that he may be paralyzed, guilt over the way that he had treated Gordon, fear that Gordon won't recover, sadness at the pain that this situation is causing his entire family, and most of all anger at his lack of ability to fix it.

Scott left Brains' office and went to his brother's bedside. He held his brother's limp hand between his own and prayed.

Dr. Shipman could see that Scott was battling his emotions. ""Scott, are you all right?" He asked.

Scott thought back to Gordon's answer when he asked his brother that same question a month before. "Sure," Scott said quietly. "I'm not the one that's paralyzed." One lone tear escaped and made it's way down his face.

_TBC_

**Author's note** - Alright, everyone who wants to strangle us raise your hand. Yep, we thought so. Be warned, if you kill us now, you won't find out what happens at the end of the story. Just a few more chapters to go.

**Fiona Belagant** – Glad you are enjoying the story. Some of your questions have been answered. Others remain a mystery.

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** – Well Gordon saved Alan. How is that going to sit with Scott?

**throwra-angel** – Glad to hear back from you. Sorry about the cliff-hanger but what better way to make sure you come back. Yeah, Gordon is hurt but is he going to be okay? You'll have to wait and see.

**andrewjameswilliams** – Things are coming to a head with Scott and Gordon. Will Scott break through Gordon's wall of anger?

**barb from utah** – Glad you liked the cliff-hanger. More Scott and Gordon interaction coming soon.


	23. A Brother Gives Up

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

**Chapter Twenty-Three – A Brother Gives Up**

Fifty-two hours later Scott was beside Gordon's bed again. He had absolutely refused to leave the sickroom. Even when his brothers had come down to take their turns sitting with Gordon, Scott insisted on staying.

After the first twenty hours, John convinced Scott to lie down in the bed next to Gordon's. Even with John's promise to wake him if Gordon woke up, Scott slept fitfully. After only two and a half hours, Scott was back by Gordon's bedside.

Jeff knew that he had to step in after forty hours when Scott looked like death warmed over. He had dark bags under his eyes and two days growth of stubble on his face. His shoulders drooped, and he leaned on Gordon's bed quietly talking to him encouraging him to wake up. Unfortunately Jeff's efforts to help his son resulted in a heated argument.

_Begin Flashback_

"Scott, you have got to get some rest." Jeff told him. "Two hours of sleep in two days is not enough. You are wearing yourself out just like Gordon did."

"I'm fine, Dad." Scott told his father.

"You are not 'fine', Scott." Jeff argued. "Have you taken a good look at yourself? You need to shower, shave and get at least six hours of sleep. I want you to go to your room and rest."

"I'm not leaving." Scott said emphatically.

"You are not going to be any help to Gordon if you don't take care of yourself." Jeff said. "If you won't listen to me as your father, then I am ordering you to rest as your commander."

"Screw you!" Scott yelled. "This is not an International Rescue operation. You can't order me to do anything."

Jeff was stung by Scott's words. Scott rarely lost his temper with his father. He hated what he was about to do, but he wasn't going to let another son make himself sick because of physical neglect.

Jeff prepared a cup of coffee for Scott. "Here, you look like you really need this." He said, handing the cup to Scott.

Scott looked at his dad and then at the cup. He sighed and took the cup. "Thanks, Dad." He said. Taking a drink of the coffee, he asked quietly. "Why hasn't he woken up yet? It's been almost two days. He should be awake by now."

"I don't know Scott." Jeff said. "Brains is going to do some more tests to make sure that he didn't miss anything."

Scott wanted to reply, but he felt woozy all of a sudden. He was having trouble organizing his thoughts. One thought did penetrate his fuzzy brain. "You put something in the coffee." Scott accused his father.

"I'm sorry Scott. I did what I thought was best." Jeff told him. Lifting his son from the chair, he guided him toward the other bed. "Let's get you in bed before the sedative knocks you out completely."

Scott felt himself being laid back on the bed. He wanted to fight his father, but he didn't have the strength. "You had no right." Scott said. He had wanted it to sound forceful, but it came out as a tired whisper. His eyes closed, and he couldn't fight it anymore.

The last thing Scott heard before he gave into the darkness was his father's voice saying, "Please forgive me, Scott."

* * *

Scott slept for almost nine hours. When he woke up, he had to admit that he did feel better physically. When he found out that Gordon was still unconscious, he asked John to get him some clean clothes. He used the bathroom in the sickroom to shower and shave. When he came out of the bathroom, he found his father in the sickroom waiting for him. 

"You're looking better." Jeff said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I feel better, too." Scott said. "You were right. I needed the rest. I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier. I just feel like everything is so out of control, and I hate not being in control."

"I would like to talk to you about this." Jeff said. "Why is this so personal to you? Why do you feel the need to sit with Gordon all the time?"

"I don't know, Dad." Scott told him. "Maybe it's because of how I treated him before the accident. It could be my way of trying to regain control. All I know is that I feel this 'need' to be here for Gordon."

"Have you tried talking to Dr. Shipman?" Jeff asked. "Maybe he could help you make sense of your feelings."

"No, I would like to try to work this out myself." Scott said.

"Ok." Jeff replied. "But just remember, you can talk to him at anytime, even after he goes back to the mainland in three days."

"Sure, Dad." Scott said. "Did Brains find out anything more about Gordon's condition while I was asleep?" He asked changing the subject.

"Not really," Jeff replied. "He ran another scan but still did not find anything that would cause this prolonged period of unconsciousness. He speculates that it might be psychological. He thinks that because of the stress he was under before the accident that maybe his mind has just withdrawn for a while."

"So, we don't know when he will wake up." Scott stated.

"No, we don't." Jeff said. "But Brains said that if we keep talking to Gordon, it may encourage him to wake up."

"Then why are we sitting here talking to each and not him?" Scott asked.

"I needed to know where your head was before I left you alone." Jeff answered. "I'm going to leave you with Gordon, but I'm going to send Virgil down here to relieve you in a few hours. When he gets here, I want you to come up and join us at the dinner table. Will you do that for me?"

Scott nodded his head. "Ok, Dad, I will see you at dinner."

_End Flashback_

It had been a couple of hours since his dad had left and Scott sat next to Gordon talking to him. He talked mostly about the good times that they had when they were children. The more Scott talked, the more emotional he became. Finally the ever-composed Scott Tracy gave into his tears. Holding Gordon's hand between his own, he laid his head on his brother's bed and sobbed. He begged through his tears. "Please, Gordon, come back to us. We need you. We love you. I love you. Please, Gordon, please wake up."

Through the darkness, Gordon heard his brother's voice. At least he thought it was Scott's voice, but there was something strange about it. It sounded like he was underwater. As he fought his way toward his brother's voice, he realized that Scott was crying. That confused him. Scott did not cry. He needed to find out what had upset his brother so much. He opened his eyes and saw Scott crying into his bed. He heard his brother sob, "I love you. Please, Gordon, please wake up."

Gordon reached with his free hand and stroked Scott's head. "Scott, what is happening?" He asked as his voice cracked with disuse. "Scott, what's wrong?"

It took a few seconds for Gordon's voice to register in Scott's brain. Scott raised his head and looked into his brother's opened eyes.

"Oh my God, Gordon, you're awake." Scott said as more tears flowed from his eyes. "This is great. I've got to let dad and Brains know. You don't know how worried we have been."

While Scott contacted his dad and Brains, Gordon was trying to figure out why he was back in the sickroom. The image of a falling tree branch flooded his memory. "Alan," he shouted. "Scott, is Alan alright? Where is he? Scott, answer me. Is Alan ok?"

Scott was suddenly back by Gordon's bedside. He placed his hands on Gordon's shoulders. "Gordon, calm down." Scott told him. "Alan is fine. You saved him. He will probably beat Dad down here. Just relax. Now that you're awake everything is going to be ok."

Gordon calmed down some when Scott told him that Alan was ok, but then realization hit him. "Scott? Scott something's wrong. Scott!" Gordon was getting worked up as he tried to move. "Scott, I can't move my legs! I can't feel them! Scott, help me!"

Scott could hear the panic in Gordon's voice. "Gordon, listen to me." Scott commanded. "It's going to be ok."

"But Scott…" Gordon said in near hysterics.

"No buts, Gordon." Scott said. "You have some swelling around your spinal column from where the tree branch hit you. Brains said the paralysis is probably temporary. As the swelling goes down, you should get the feeling back.

"What it the feeling doesn't come back?" Gordon asked tearfully.

"Then we'll deal with it." Scott answered. "You beat this once. You can beat this again. Remember, we are all here for you. We will do whatever it takes to help you."

"I can't." Gordon said in a quiet voice. "It was hard enough the first time. I can't do it again, Scott. I don't have the strength to do it again."

"Don't say that!" Scott said vehemently. "Don't even think like that. Don't you dare give up. I won't let you give up. Do you hear me? You have got to fight this."

Gordon was saved from having to give a response by the arrival of the rest of his family. He knew that they expected him to beat this again just like Scott did. He also knew that it was a miracle that he had beaten it the first time, a miracle and a lot of hard work, work that he did not feel up to doing again, physically or emotionally. Fate seemed determined to paralyze him one way or another. Who can fight fate?

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Oh my God, are we horrible or what? Grumpy has climbed back under her rock and Convert is trying to push her way under it too. Did you see how Gordon turned to Scott for help? Sometimes it takes a major crisis to put things in perspective.

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** - Wow, a threat. Glad that you enjoyed the chapter. I would tell you if there is a happy ever after but that would give the ending away.

**merryw** – The stage is set for the emotional healing. As for the physical healing, well you saw how this chapter ended…

**throwra-angel** – Poor Gordon is right. As far as how much he can take, we will see in the next couple of chapters.


	24. A Brother Falls

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now not ever.

**Chapter Twenty-Four – A Brother Falls**

Scott knocked on Gordon's door a little after ten in the morning.

"Come in, Scott." Gordon said.

"How did you know that it was me?" Scott asked.

"Because for the last week and a half, you have been at my door at exactly this same time." Gordon said with a small smirk. "Give me some credit, Scott. I've come to expect you at my door."

Scott laughed as he asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Gordon wheeled his chair from the far side of the bed to in front of Scott. "I don't see what good it will do." He told his brother. "It has been two and a half weeks since my accident. Brains said that the swelling has been down for over a week. Yet I still have not had any feeling at all in my legs. Face it, Brains was wrong. This is permanent."

"It's only been a week." Scott said. "It's too soon to be making judgments like that. Your body has suffered a shock. It may just need a little time to recover. That's why you need to keep up with your physical therapy. You never know when you may have a break through."

"All right, let's go." Gordon said deciding that it was worthless to argue. "I just hope you realize that I may never have the breakthrough that you are looking for."

Gordon endured the therapy session, just like he had endured all the sessions in the twice a day therapy regiment that Brains had him on. It wasn't the exercises that bothered him. It was not being able to feel the exercises that upset him so much. Watching one of his brothers, usually Scott, moving his legs and not being able to feel it was disconcerting to him. He hoped that his family would learn soon that it was hopeless so he could give up these useless therapy sessions.

Finally, it was noon and his morning session was over.

"Do you want to go back to your room or directly to the dining room for lunch?" Scott asked. "Kyrano is making BBQ beef for lunch. Man I don't know what he puts in his sauce, but he could make a fortune if he bottled it."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Gordon replied. "We'd better go right to the dining room. If we are not there when Kyrano starts serving it, we may not get any."

Scott laughed and said. "You are definitely right there. Our brothers' loyalties stop short when it comes to food. Come on, let's hit the road."

The three other Tracy brothers were already in the dining room when Gordon and Scott arrived. Gordon pretended not to notice the questioning look of his brothers or the barely perceptible shake of Scott's head that he gave them in response.

"Hey Kyrano, lunch smells great." Gordon said. "How come you haven't left us to start your own five-star restaurant? You'd put all the others out of business."

"I could never do that, Mister Gordon." Kyrano replied. "It would be like leaving family."

"We love you too, Kyrano." Gordon said. "And not just for the food. I hope you know that."

"I never doubted that, Mister Gordon." Kyrano said with a slight bow as he went back to preparing the food.

"So John, had dad said how much longer that you will be down on Earth?" Gordon asked his brother.

"Well, I'm going to be here for a while." John answered. "Dad and I talked about that. We decided that since it has been pretty slow that we would leave Thunderbird 5 on auto for a while."

"It has been pretty slow." Gordon agreed. "How many rescues have you had in the last three weeks? Four?"

"Five." Virgil answered. "But none of them were major. We were out and back in a matter of hours."

"Where are Dad and Brains?" Gordon asked around a mouthful of food.

"Dad said that he had a meeting." Alan explained. "Brains is probably down in his lab working on something."

The boys continued their lunch, savoring the food and enjoying each others company. Meanwhile, Jeff was in his meeting. But unbeknownst to his sons, his meeting was with Brains.

* * *

"So let me get this straight, Brains." Jeff was saying. "The swelling around Gordon's spinal column has gone down completely, and you find nothing else wrong with his back." 

"That is c-c-correct, Mr. Tracy." Brains said.

"Then what is causing his paralysis?" Jeff asked.

"Well, this is only m-m-my opinion," Brains began nervously. "It may b-be psychological."

"Psychological? How can that be? He's kept up his vid-appointments with Dr. Shipman. Why isn't that helping?" Jeff asked.

"G-Gordon doesn't realize that it is psychological." Brains explained. "Think about what w-was happening right before his accident. H-H-He was planning to leave b-because he felt responsible for hurting Alan and l-l-letting down International Rescue. He didn't really want to leave. He loves his f-family too much but he was also afraid to l-let you down again. Now that h-h-he's paralyzed, he can stay on T-Tracy Island and he won't have to worry about that. It's his s-s-subconscious' solution to his p-p-problem.

"So how do we handle this?" Jeff asked. "Should we tell him? Should we tell Dr. Shipman? What?"

"I th-think that at this point that we should do n-n-nothing. It is possible that g-given enough t-t-time, Gordon's subconscious w-will no longer need the defense m-m-mechanism that it has put into place, and he will b-begin to recover."

"Ok Brains." Jeff said. "We'll play it your way, although I want him to continue with his therapy so that if his mind lets him recover, his muscles will be in good tone."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Alan and Gordon were out by the pool playing chess. They were both laying on chaise lounges with the game board set up on a table between them. They were soaking up the sun, and enjoying their time together when Scott came out of the house. 

"Hey Scott," Alan called to him. "Where have you been hiding?"

"I had an appointment with Dr. Shipman." Scott said.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to pry." Alan said. "Although I am glad that you finally talked to him. I was getting worried about you. You seemed to be having trouble dealing with all this."

"Well it was just my pride that held me back." Scott said. "But I finally got to the point where I admitted to myself that I needed help, and Dr. Shipman has been providing that help."

"Do you want to play me?" Alan asked. "I'll have him mated in four more moves."

"That is what you think." Gordon Said. "What's the old proverb? 'Don't count your chickens before they hatch'."

Scott gave Gordon a wink and then turned to Alan. "Hey Alan, what has Brains said about your arm?"

Alan glanced at the arm that was still in the cast. "Well, he scanned it earlier today. It's healing properly. Brains said that he will probably remove the cast in a couple of weeks. Then he is going to give me some exercises to do to bring it back to full strength. Then I'll be good to go." Alan continued to make moves as he talked to Scott.

"Check mate." Gordon said.

"What?" Alan exclaimed. He glared at Scott. "You distracted me."

"Don't count your chickens." Scott said with a grin.

"Ok, ok, so you guys showed me up." Alan said grumpily. "Do you want a go at Gordon?"

"Sure, I'll take a shot at him." Scott replied. "But first I'm going to get some lemonade. Does anybody else want some?"

"Sure." Came the reply from both his brothers.

As Scott rounded the corner of the pool, Alan yelled to him. "How about bringing some snacks too?"

Scott spun on his heel to make a smart-alec comment, but he lost his balance. Time seemed to slow as Scott fell across the corner of the pool. He struck his head on the pool's edge and sank beneath the water.

"SCOTT!" Alan screamed.

_TBC_

**Author's note** – Oh no. Another cliff-hanger. This time we are picking of Scott. Can't these Tracy boys catch a break? Also there was a rework of chapter 21. Nothing big, no change in the plotline. If you want to go back, great. If not, no big deal either.

**numbah 14** – Welcome back. Here's your next update. Glad that you love it.

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** – Now that Scott came to his senses, look what we did to him.

**destiny-angel** – Thank you. Thank you for your kind review. We are humbled that you think so highly of our writing.


	25. A Brother Recovers

**A BROTHER'S CRY**

**By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert**

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

**Chapter Twenty-Five – A Brother Recovers**

Alan watched as Scott fell into the pool. "Scott!" Alan screamed but before he could react, he heard a splash. He stood shocked for a moment before he grabbed his watch off the table. "Dad, we need help. Scott fell in the pool and hit his head."

"Go in after him!" Jeff ordered.

"I…uhm…Gordon already did." Alan informed his father.

"Gordon?" Jeff asked stunned. "I'll be right there."

By this time, Gordon had brought Scott to the surface. Alan reached down to help get Scott out of the water. Scott started coughing and spit out some water. He reached up and grabbed Alan's good hand and hauled himself out of the water.

"Are you ok, Scott?" Alan asked while trying to examine the cut on Scott's forehead. "You took a pretty good knock to your head."

"I'm ok, I'm ok." He said in between coughing, pushing Alan's hand away from his head. "I was just dazed for a moment. I swallowed a little water, but I'll be fine."

Scott and Alan locked eyes for a moment and then looked at Gordon, grinning.

Gordon had pulled himself out of the pool. He was standing bent over with his hands on his knees. He looked at his brothers who were grinning at him like Cheshire cats. "What?" He demanded.

"I don't think 'it' is permanent." Scott said as his smile got bigger.

It took a moment for Gordon to understand Scott's comment. "Oh my God," Was all that he managed to say. He couldn't believe that he was standing on his own two feet.

Jeff ran out of the villa. "Scott, Gordon, are you two ok?"

"Yeah Dad," Scott said. He couldn't keep the elation out of his voice. "We're great. Everything is just great."

"Gordon, my God, look at you. You're standing." Jeff said in amazement. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know Dad." Gordon replied. "I saw Scott fall and I just reacted. I didn't think at all. I didn't even realize that I was on my feet until Alan and Scott were grinning at me like two idiots."

"Well, however this happen, I'm just thrilled it did." Jeff said wrapping his arms around Gordon and hugging his son.

John and Brains arrived at that moment. "Dad, what is going…" John started to ask but stopped when he saw Gordon. "Gordon! Oh my God! You're standing! Oh my God! Can you walk? Is your feeling completely restored in your legs? Oh my God! I can't believe this. It's wonderful Gordon, just wonderful." John knew that he was rambling, but he was so flustered that he couldn't string together a coherent thought.

"What's wonderful?" Virgil asked from the open patio door.

"Scott fell in the pool and hit his head on the way in." Alan said.

"And that is wonderful?" Virgil asked in confusion, heading toward the pool.

"No Virg, the wonderful part is that Gordon saved him." Alan said excitedly.

"Gordon? How did…" Virgil stopped talking when he got close enough to see his younger brother standing next to their father. He stood in shock staring at Gordon.

Gordon saw the shock on Virgil's face. "Virg, are you ok?" He asked. The next thing he knew; he was enveloped in a bear hug from Virgil.

Virgil stood in shock until he heard Gordon talk to him. He was so overcome with emotion that he didn't trust himself to answer. Instead he opted to hug his brother. With tears streaming down his face, he whispered with a choked voice. "Thank you, God. Oh, thank you God."

Gordon could feel the emotion in his brother, especially as his hug kept getting tighter and tighter. "Ah, Virg," he said. "I really do need to be able to breathe."

"Oh sorry." Virgil said as he released Gordon, wiping the tears from his eyes. "It's just…oh, man…I mean…" Virgil shook his head. He was completely dumbfounded.

"I really hate to break up this happy gathering." Jeff broke in. "But I want to get these two to the sickroom so Brains can check them over."

"But dad, I'm fine, really." Scott began to argue, but Jeff cut him off.

"You are going to the sickroom. You are going to be examined." Jeff said in his "commander" voice. "You hit your head, and I am not willing to take a chance on a possible head injury." Turning to Gordon, he said. "And you are going too. Don't even think about arguing."

Gordon held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "No arguments here, Dad." He said with a smirk. "After all, I'm the good son who does everything you tell him too without arguments."

The brothers all broke into laughter and added their own remarks.

"Yeah, right."

"Since when?"

"What have you been smoking?"

"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Gordon?"

Jeff heard his sons laughing. It sounded good. It had been too long since he had heard his sons' laughter. It was like a healing balm to him. Following his sons into the house, he brushed the tears of joy from his eyes.

* * *

_Epilogue – Two weeks later_

Gordon sat in his father's office. His father was trying to convince him to change his mind about resigning from International Rescue. What Jeff didn't know was that Gordon had already made that decision.

Jeff was in the middle of his persuasive argument. "After all, you made not one but two split-second decisions when you saved Alan and Scott. I have no doubt in my mind that you would do it on a rescue too." He said.

A knock at the door interrupted Jeff. "Come in." He order a little frustrated.

Scott entered the office with the mail. "Mike was here with the mail. He said to tell you to let him know the next time you're in San Diego, and he'll take you out for a drink." He could tell by the look on his dad's face that he had interrupted something. Seeing Gordon also in the office, he knew what it was. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He apologized.

"Don't worry about it, Scott." Gordon said. "I've been waiting for Dad to stop talking, so I could tell him that I have changed my mind about quitting International Rescue."

"Really, that's great Gordon." Scott said, a smile coming to his face.

"And to think that I had this speech all planned to try to convince you to do something that you had already decided to do." Jeff said with a laugh. "Why didn't you stop me earlier?"

"You didn't really give me a chance." Gordon said. "You dived right into your speech as soon as I walked into the office."

"Ok, so I tend to be a little forceful when it comes to something that I believe in." Jeff said as he started to go through the box of mail. "Why don't you go let your brothers know about your decision? Alan especially will be thrilled."

Gordon and Scott headed for the door. "Wait a minute." Jeff's voice stopped them. "This is for you Gordon." He said tossing a large manila envelope to him.

"Thanks, Dad." He said, looking at the return address on the envelope. "J. Mitchell, Los Angeles, CA." Even though he didn't recognize the name, his gut told him that this was important.

* * *

Scott and Gordon found their brothers in the game room playing pool. 

"Hey guys," Scott said. "Who's winning?"

"I am." Virgil said as he lined up his shot.

"Well, Gordon has an announcement for you." Scott said.

The three Tracy brothers turned to their brother. Gordon could see a mixture of anticipation and fear on their faces.

"I'm staying." Gordon said.

That simple statement brought whoops of joy, numerous pats on the back, and a round of hugs.

"That is such good news," Alan said. "I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Hey let's have a celebration at lunch. I'll go tell Kyrano." With that Alan was gone.

"Well, I guess that means he forfeits." Virgil said. "Do you want to play, Gordon?"

"Maybe in a bit." Gordon said. "First there are a few things that I want to take care of."

* * *

Gordon headed outside to open his mail and also to soak up some sun. He sat at one of the poolside tables and opened the envelope. He pulled out an adventure magazine with a note attached to the front. 

_Dear Mr. Tracy,_

_We have never met but you have made a big impact on my life. Your book _Small Steps_ helped me through a dark period of my life. My article in this magazine starting on page 17 should explain why. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story with those of us who need it._

_Sincerely,_

_Jennifer Mitchell_

Gordon knew what Jennifer was referring to. It was a booklet that he wrote after he had recovered from the injuries incurred in his hydro-foil accident. His physical therapist had encouraged him to publish his story as "inspiration" for others who were going through therapy themselves. He agreed on one condition: that the booklet was to be given at no cost only to people in physical therapy.

Curiosity started eating at him. Could it be? He opened the magazine to page 17. A picture of Jennifer Mitchell stared out at him. A lump formed in his throat and tears formed in his eyes. It was Jennifer from his last rescue. He began reading he article. It told about how she was assigned to go on the scuba-diving trip and to write an article on it for the magazine. She wrote about the excitement of the trip and the beauty of the undersea creatures. She gave details of the earthquake and the subsequent rescue by International Rescue. Gordon was surprised when she failed to mention his part in her paralysis. She went on to talk about the three weeks in a back brace and the following physical therapy. She discussed the depression that she had fallen into and how reading Gordon's book gave her the determination to fight back. The last paragraph stood out to Gordon.

_"I am proud to say that I took my first step last week. I couldn't have done it without a whole group of people that I would like to thank. First, I need to thank my mom and my sister. They really stood by me and encouraged me. I also need to apologize to them. There were times that I was pretty nasty to them but they endured it with love and patience. Next I need to thank the entire staff at LA's Rehabilitation Clinic, especially Dr. Bryan Long. He was my physical therapist. He pushed me when I wanted to give up. He praised me at every milestone I made. Dr. Long was also the one who gave me Gordon Tracy's book. Gordon Tracy is the next person that I would like to thank. Your back injury was worse than mine, but you fought your way back to health. I know from your book that it was a hard time for you. The fact that you were willing to share your story speaks volumes of your courage. Whenever I would feel down, I would think about how far you had come. I decided that if you could do it then by God, I was going to do it. There is one last person that I want to thank. It is the man from International Rescue. He never told me his name. I don't know how to reach him, so I decided to put it in this article hoping that maybe by some chance he will read it. Thank you for saving my life. You were faced with so many hard split-second decisions. I don't know how you did it. But then I think about all the rescues that you must have been on and how you face those kinds of situations on a regular basis. You and your associates are my heroes. I know a lot of people across the globe would like a chance to publicly thank International Rescue. I am lucky enough to have the chance. So thank you. You will never know how much it means to me to have a second chance at life. Again, thank you to everyone who has had a hand in my recovery."_

The tears fell from Gordon's eyes; cleansing, healing tears. For the last two months, he had been afraid that she blamed him, but here she was thanking him. He felt like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Virgil came out to get Gordon for lunch. He became concerned when he saw the tears on his brothers face. "Are you ok Gordon?"

"Yeah, I am." Gordon said, handing the magazine to Virgil. "Things like this make what we do worthwhile, doesn't it Virg?"

Virgil quickly scanned the article. "Is this the Jennifer from your last rescue?" He asked. Gordon nodded his head.

"Yeah Gordon," Virgil said. "It does make it worth it. Why don't you show this to the rest of the guys over lunch? It's ready."

"OK, give me a few minutes and then I'll be right in." Gordon told his brother. Virgil nodded and headed back into the house.

Gordon stared at the pool where he knew Thunderbird 1 was hidden underneath. He thought about all the different rescues that they had gone on over the years. He smiled and said to himself. "Yes, it has definitely been worth it."

_THE END_

**Author's note** – Well friends we have cleaned up our mess and put our toys neatly away. The end has finally come. Was it worth it? Since this is the last chapter, we want to express our deepest gratitude to all those who read our story and a special thank you to everyone who took time to review. Your kind words were great encouragement to us. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

**AngelMouse5** – Glad you liked the cliffhanger. Of course you were right. We had to get Gordon out of that chair somehow.

**Fiona Belagant** – Well, your wish was granted. As far as picking of John and Virgil, that's in other stories that we are working on.

**rozzy07** – Sorry I got ahead of you. I finished the story while I was out of town, so it was just a matter of typing and posting. Hope you liked the "miracle."

**Rachie Loves Donald Duck** – Poor Scott, but we didn't hurt him too bad. Was this a good "happy ever after"?

**Fried Eeyore** – Glad that you enjoyed the story. My sister had hamsters when we were growing up. Somehow I always ended up cleaning their cages. I'm still not sure how she talked me into that.

**Numbah 14** – Well sadly this story has come to an end, although we have two partially written stories and outlines for three more. Hopefully, we will have a new story up soon for your enjoyment.

**throwra-angel** – Evil? Us? We blame it on the muse. Yes, you were being optimistic. You were also dead on too.

**Vorserkeien** – Glad to have you back. You got back just in time for the end. Your feeling was completely correct. Give yourself a pat on the back.


End file.
